“Whatever,” Stone huffs. “If you’re dating, then Shadow might come around more. That would be okay.”
Fuck, come on. All I’ve done is get all weepy lately. I amnotgoing to do that here.
It’s almost nice that Preacher and Rita share a worried look with each other.ThatI can deal with. It’s the sappy stuff that I have no idea how to handle.
Fawnie has been watching Preacher carefully, and she catches that look too. “We don’t have unrealistic expectations,” she’s quick to explain. “We… want to move slowly.”
She removes her hand from my knee and sets it right on top of my hand. On the table. She threads our fingers together without a second of hesitation, and I swear, I’m going to be a puddle of goop here on this chair in a moment.
“Double gross,” Stone sighs.
I try not to laugh, but his comment helps lighten the situation.
“That’s not code for anything,” Fawnie responds, laughing. “We’d like to get to know each other. We want to be friends too. We’ll for sure come to dinner together. Or just to hang out. We’d like to go to more of the club’s events too. Cookouts and family days. Maybe even weekends.”
Preacher shoots me a look that saysdon’t you dare bring my daughter to the clubhouse on a Friday night.
Fawnie smiles at her dad. She hasn’t missed a single thing. “Alright, maybe not weekends for a while. But I’ve been wanting to go for a ride on Shadow’s bike. No one freak out if they see us doing that, okay?”
Preacher’s lips draw into a flat line, but that’s the last thing he can protest. “Be safe if you’re riding,” he mutters. “You absolutely have to wear the right gear, including a helmet. Every single time.” He swallows thickly and studies me.
It’s not the kind of studying that makes me want to squirm in my chair. It’s the kind that makes my eyeballs burn even more furiously. God. I can barely even swallow myself. I’m back to feeling raw, but not the way I have for the past five years. Not like someone took a grater to my skin and didn’t stop even when they reached the bone. It’s more raw, in that way that being hugged feels like. Warm and safe. A feeling you’re only disappointed with because it’s too brief.
“I’ll be careful,” I promise.
Justice finally stops eating long enough to raise his brows. “Holy shit, you reallyaregonna be his old lady.”
“Justice,” Rita warns.
“What? Getting on the back of a bike means shit. It means that dude owns you.”
Preacher groans and Rita makes a motherly noise of disapproval. “It’s a gesture of mutual care and respect,” she explains patiently. “No one owns another person. It’s a reciprocal relationship. Give and take. Just like how we’ve always urged you to treat other people, but especially Nora.”
Justice does look a little bit chastened. “Sorry, Fawnie. But like, Shadow totally owns you now,” he repeats adamantly, grinning that smile that probably melts a good deal of hearts because it’s a nice smile, but it’s so tinged withtrouble. “You own him too. I didn’t mean it as a bad thing. Preacher making my mom his old lady was the best thing that ever happened to all of us. We’re a family now.” Justice’s hands shoots out to Rita. “Mom! Why are you crying?”
Rita quickly swipes her cheeks, then takes Justice’s hand and gives it the most adorable squeeze. “I’m happy, honey, that’s all. That was a very sweet thing to say.”
“You’re a part of us, Shadow.” Justice drops that with a massive grin. “Welcome to the family, dude. Maybe we should all get matching tattoos.”
“Can I get one too?” Stone asks hopefully.
“You’re twelve, Stone,” Rita points out, but she doesn’t seem too worried.
“Crow would do it.”
Preacher shakes his head, but he’s clearly struggling not to smile too. “That’s not the point. And no, he wouldn’t.”
“He would if you asked him to.”
“Not if he didn’t want to get his license suspended for tattooing a minor.”
Rita raises her eyebrows but just shakes her head. Raising two boys, I’m sure that a tattoo is the least of her worries. I seem to remember more than a few nights of straight epic wildness. And I know for a fact that Justice has been suspended from school more than once, and Stone is in detention more than he’sever out of it. Justice also lost his job for basically assaulting an asshole who deserved it, and Preacher had to go settle things.
It’s hilarious to think that my mom thought I was a bad kid for doing absolutely nothing at all.
Maybe it’s not hilarious.
Maybe I’m still burning up with rage about that. Bleeding out too. That’s what Lockwood is for. I need to learn how to deal with the trauma that started long before the fire. I’m going to. For Fawnie, for the club and my club brothers, but most of all, for me.
