“Only because everyone’s wearing clothes,” one of the other men in the circle spoke up, sounding irritated.
“Nah, I can use my imagination,” Clay said with a grin.
Rowan’s attention turned to the guest who’d spoken. “And what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Do you feel this place has merit?”
“Look, man, if you’re asking if this is where any of us will get healed magically, and all our problems will go away, then no, fuck no, there’s nowhere in the world you’re going to get that.”
Clay snorted. “And if they promise that, I’ve got some beachfront property in Oklahoma for you to buy.”
“Right,” the guest said, and I remembered his name was Paul. “But you know what? After my last couple of relationships, losing my job, and...my family, it’s nice to have a place where I can be myself. I don’t have to worry about the world outside until I leave. Maybe it feels like a vacation to you, but it feels like a place where I can fucking chill out for the first time in thirty-three years, alright?”
Rowan stared at him, and it was easy to mistake his expression for an unhappy scowl, but I recognized it; he was thinking hard. “Do you mind if I ask you another question?”
“Sure,” Paul said with a shrug. “Just so long as I can tell you to fuck off if I don’t like it.”
At that, Rowan smiled. “Fair enough. There’s something no one has clarified, and I was wondering if you had any ideas.”
“Okay, what?”
“Why is it a male-only facility? From top to bottom, guest to Guide, maintenance staff, cooks, everything.”
“Look, for some guys, like me, some of the shit in our heads is because of women. Nothing against women, for God’s sake, I’m not a fucking…” he stopped and cleared his throat. “But I’ve been surrounded by women my whole life. I was raised by a mom and had three sisters. And I dated a lot of women, which was a minefield. You’d think someone raised around women would know how to deal with them, but nope, I was shit at it. I decided I was either going to suck it up and get help or eat a bullet. Thought I’d try the less permanent option first.”
“So it’s an escape from women?” Rowan wondered.
“It is for me,” Paul said, then glanced at Dr. Ramirez and grimaced. “Well, more like an escape from my own bad choices with women. But really? There’s places all over this goddamn countryjustfor women because they feel safer, they can be themselves. Well, guess what, the same thing can happen for guys when you create a place just for them. We can just...be ourselves.”
“Mmm,” Rowan said, wrinkling his nose. “And the nakedness?”
At that, Paul laughed. “Alright, I’ll give you that one. That’s still fucking weird. But you know, raised in a house full of women, so I was always paranoid about being seen naked. Never had the chance to get used to that sort of thing, like I guess some of the guys here did. I’m kinda used to it now. I don’t find it weird when I walk in and see a naked guy strolling around, but you won’t catch me doing it.”
“You do it in the spring,” Clay pointed out. “I saw that bare ass.”
Paul scowled. “Quit looking at my ass. There’s plenty of dicks, quit looking at mine.”
“Don’t you worry, I have taste,” Clay said with a smirk. “Hey Doc, isn’t it telling that I wasn’t even hitting on him, but he immediately jumped to being all defensive?”
“I swear to God, I am not a closet case,” Paul growled.
“Gentlemen,” Dr. Ramirez chided gently. “If you have an issue with each other that needs to be addressed, you know the proper way to do it.”
“I don’t have a problem, except him always running his mouth,” Paul said. “And just because I don’t want you hitting on me don’t mean anything except I don’t want you hitting on me.”
“Understandable. I think it’s perfectly valid for you to have boundaries, and for other people to respect them, especially ina place that is meant to be conducive to peace and healing,” Ramirez said, turning his attention to Clay, who rolled his eyes.
“I’ll behave,” he huffed. “Fuck’s sake, I was only joking. I’m not trying to get in his pants.”
That sparked a discussion about the resort’s boundaries and strangeness. Rowan didn’t participate much, I noticed, but neither did he avoid getting involved when something caught his interest or when someone addressed him directly. I took it as a good sign. His mood seemed to have improved by the time Ramirez ended the session.
“Rowan, if you could linger for a moment,” Ramirez requested softly as the rest filed out. “You as well, Luka.”
Rowan shot me a sharp look, but I shrugged and dropped into a seat next to him as Ramirez closed the door. He grabbed a chair and sat in front of us. “Now, don’t think this is negative. I haven’t had the chance to speak to Rowan before, and now you’re fully in your role as Guide, I wanted to talk to you as well.”
At Rowan’s questioning look, I shrugged. “Don’t worry. This is pretty common. Nothing either of us needs to worry about.”
