He said nothing, merely nodding and turning his attention back to Ramirez, staring at the doctor with a mildly expectant expression, but otherwise he was calm. I had felt his attention on me several times over the past couple of days, but whenever I looked, he was looking elsewhere. It was unnerving, and I couldn’t tell if I was being paranoid or if he really had been watching me. I was being paranoid now, though, as there was no way to prove he was paying attention to me.
“He’s right. There are a limited number of licensed therapists on the staff, but we try to check in with people individually,” Ramirez said with a gentle smile. “Especially when they’re new, as you both are.”
“For a place that’s devoted to healing and recovery, it seems like there should be more professionals on the staff,” Rowannoted, adjusting the way he was sitting and bumping my leg with his, which was fine. Either he didn’t notice or he... didn’t care.
Ugh, I was an adult. I did not need to be a hormone-filled teenager again. Once had been more than enough, thank you.
“The system at Arete is meant to guide people toward a better, healthier self, not force them. We aren’t a rehab facility, nor are we a psychiatric facility, for that matter. Every guest must be allowed to find their own path to healing. Now, before you find fault with that, it does require the guests to be willing to reach out and accept the help offered. What you see as a vacation is a place where you are allowed to, as Paul said, feel comfortable and rest. With that comes the opportunity to find ways to heal that you might not have in the everyday world. It may not be what you expected, but we have seen a great deal of success from our program.”
Rowan tapped his fingers against his thigh before clearing his throat. “I see. I suppose it would be in my best interest to trust the process.”
“And what a marvelous job you’re doing,” I said, and then laughed when he shot me a dirty look. “What? Every chance you get, you find fault with the resort, or with how someone is handling things.”
“How you’re handling things, you mean,” he said with a frown.
“Yeah,” I said lightly, wrapping myself around the sting of the words and keeping them tucked away. “Like that.”
“Doyou have any concerns about the way Luka has been handling things?” Ramirez asked, cocking his head.
“As has been pointed out, I’m unfamiliar with how everything works and need to trust the process,” Rowan said in a rare moment of diplomacy when given the chance to criticize.
Ramirez smiled. “That doesn’t answer my question. How do you feel about Luka’s methods?”
“I’m not certain he’s sure about his methods,” Rowan said dryly, casting me a sidelong glance. “He certainly doesn’t lack enthusiasm, and he’s trying his best. I don’t envy him being in charge of me. I know he isn’t my boss or?—”
“No, if anything, it would be better to think of him as a partner,” Ramirez said, and I felt Rowan’s leg against me tense. “Our Guides are not therapists or licensed psychologists. Do you know why?”
Rowan frowned. “No, but I assume you’re going to tell me.”
“I will indeed,” Ramirez chuckled. “Because, as I said, you should think of your Guide, Luka, as a partner—a friend to accompany you through your time here. We found early on that people didn’t always respond well to having someone assigned to them who was essentially a life coach, or as you put it, a boss. Instead, they did better when they were equals.”
“Are we on equal footing?” Rowan asked with a frown. “I can’t imagine Luka doesn’t have access that I don’t. Or that he’s not supposed to report on me.”
“His role is supervisory, in the strictest sense. Meaning he is supposed to supervise, but not order you about. We’ve reached the point in your stay where you’re comfortable enough to know your way around, and most of what’s offered; it will be up to you to decide what you do. That might seem contradictory to what you expect, but as I said, freedom and autonomy are important for the men who come here. All too often, many of them feel they have no control over their lives, so having it here is therapeutic.”
“Hear that?” Rowan asked, turning to me. “We’re equals.”
“I already knew that.”
“Funny you never thought to mention it.”
“Your sense of what is or isn’t funny is weird.”
“At least now you can say you have a reason to be so casual with me.”
“I didn’t need one before, and I don’t need one now. If I were formal with you, you’d treat me formally, and that wouldn’t get us anywhere, would it?”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because the only time you act like a person rather than some corporate figurehead is when I’m direct with you. If you hide behind your corporate mask, you can hide everything. So yeah, I’ll be casual, even if it’s weird for you, or annoying.”
Rowan blinked. “I...see.”
“What he means is, he wasn’t ready for me to call him out like that,” I told the doctor with a snort.
Ramirez looked between us before chuckling. “Alright, well that answers the other question I had.”
“What’s that?” Rowan asked, shooting me a dirty look.
