So yeah, not only should I try to show a man who needed help some understanding, I should probably be careful about the stones I was mentally tossing around while my house looked very glass-like.
“If you mean these meetings, then yes, you are required to come once a week at my recommendation,” Dr. Ramirez said with a smile. “But if you mean this resort, you’re here because you have people who care about you who wish to see you?—”
“What, get better?” Clay asked with a smirk. “I think I’m doin’ just fine here, Doc. I have everything I need, and if some people want to sit around and hope I’ll get fixed magically, that’s their problem, not mine. Any problem I need to take care of, I do it, easy.”
From his seat in the circle, Rowan rolled his shoulders. “I don’t think he meant your sexual problems.”
“Well, I did,” Clay snickered. “Move on to someone else, Doc. See, Rowan feels like talking, ask him about his childhood or whatever.”
“I’m just observing,” Rowan said quickly. “Without judgement, I might add.”
“A worthy addition,” Ramirez said with a nod. “You, of course, can feel free to speak up whenever you’d like.”
“I have nothing to add,” Rowan said, and I shook my head, unable to help my smile.
Which didn’t go unnoticed by Dr. Ramirez, and his eyes fixed on me. “And what about you, Luka? Do you agree with him?”
I repressed a sigh. I should have realized that was going to happen. It wasn’t my first time standing outside the circle of guests in the group discussion, but it was the first timemyGuest was here, so of course, I was going to get pulled in.
I cleared my throat. “I think Rowan has plenty he could add, and quit glaring at me out of the corner of your eye and let me finish, Rowan...thank you. Anyway, I think Rowan has plenty to add when he’s ready. I’m not going to push him to talk when he doesn’t want to.”
Rowan was still glaring, but at least now he was glaring at the center of the circle rather than at me. Please, as if I was going to force him to open up in a room full of strangers? That level of vulnerability was hard for the average person, let alone someone as private and reserved as Rowan. He had only recently begun to loosen up around me enough to talk about himself, and even that was a trickle. It was progress, so I wasn’t going to complain, but it didn’t indicate a man who wanted to spill his guts in a group session.
“Well, and how would you say things are going between the two of you?” Ramirez asked, adjusting his glasses.
“Should I answer that?” I wondered. “I think you’d rather ask my guest.”
Ramirez’s gaze lingered on me before shifting to Rowan. “So, what do you say, Rowan? How do you feel about your Guide?”
I ducked my head and rubbed my mouth like I had an itch, when in reality I was hiding my smirk from Rowan when his eyes slid to me with accusation in his stare. After a moment, he cleared his throat. “I would say it has been...different.”
“How so?” Ramirez asked curiously.
“It’s strange, having someone around me at all times. I haven’t had this sort of experience since I was a child, growing up with my sister,” Rowan explained. “I am not particularly sociable...or personable for that matter. So my experience with other people is limited outside my family.”
“What, don’t have friends?” Clay asked in amusement.
Rowan stiffened, and I forced myself to keep my lips pressed together. Just like he wasn’t one to be forced into opening up easily, he also wasn’t someone who needed me to jump to his rescue if he was uncomfortable. Hell, as much as I didn’t like Clay prodding him, I’d noticed Rowan did a lot better with people when he was pushed a little. I didn’t know whether letting your guest be antagonized was an approved plan, but that was one reason I was just a Guide rather than a licensed therapist or psychiatrist like Dr. Ramirez.
“None worth bringing up,” Rowan said, and I mentally translated that as no, he did not have any friends. “My point was, or is, that it has been a different experience being here than I originally thought.”
“And what were you expecting?” Ramirez asked, because, of course, he wouldn’t let something that juicy go without addressing it.
Rowan’s face tightened, and I could tell he regretted having spoken and was contemplating how annoyed with me he was. “I was expecting something more rigid, more detailed, and more arranged. I have so far done what I wanted when I wanted. There has been no prescribed routine, no requirements. If I did notknow better, I would say this is a vacation resort where I happen to have someone to follow me around and...entertain me.”
“Hey, you’re gettin’ it,” Clay grinned.
Rowan frowned. “That isn’t necessarily a good thing. This place is meant to help us after all, and so far it amounts to a long vacation.”
Great, so I was getting a job performance review in full view of everyone, and would you look at that, I was doing poorly, apparently.
“Well, every Guide handles things differently. Then again, how many vacations have you gone on where you’re asked to come to a group discussion?” Ramirez asked, with genuine curiosity rather than judgment.
“Not many,” Rowan admitted, glancing toward me.
I shrugged. “It wasn’t like I brought you here just because it sounded like a good idea.”
“It’s a boring idea,” Clay said, and I ignored him. He had been resistant to anything but getting laid, and I was glad I wasn’t in charge of his care. I wouldn’t know where to even start with someone like Clay. He had a different Guide every time he came back, and sometimes changed in the middle of a stay, so clearly other people didn’t know what to do with him either. I suppose they let him keep coming back because he was a good source of income for the resort, but at some point, they would have to admit that, no matter how much help someone needed, there had to come a time to cut them loose. If he didn’t want help, his spot could be offered to someone who did.
