THREE
CASEN
Four days. That’s how long it has been since I’ve seen her face. I thought I could deal with it if she came here today but if the wet grass dampening my pants is any indication of how well I am handling it, then I was way fucking wrong.
I feel so many mixed emotions. I want to pull her body into me and tell her how much I love her, which surprises the shit out of me. I thought I had the mindset now to just let her go, but then she spoke. Just hearing her say “please” sparked the memory of her in her apartment begging me to understand why she was doing the things that she was doing.
“Casen, man.” Reece tugs on my arm. “Get up.”
Unwillingly, I rise to my feet and straighten myself out, noticing a dozen or so people watching me. They heard me profess my love for someone deceitful. They don’t know the things she has done, so I just look like a goddamn fool.
Reece pats me on the shoulder. “Let’s go next door and get a drink.”
I nod because I can’t get myself together inside of a funeral home. “Okay, but I need to let Ian’s parents know.”
He follows me in, and I spot Kate sitting between her parents silently praying so I give them a moment before I interrupt.
“Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” I quietly say to them. “I’m going to head out.”
Mrs. Smith stands up and pulls me into her. She is warm and thankfully her tears have stopped flowing, for now. I doubt there will be a day that she doesn’t cry for the loss of her son. I hug her tighter with that thought. She lessens her hold and looks up to me. “I got to meet your girlfriend Embyr.” She smiles. The first smile I have seen from her in the past couple days.
“Oh, she’s not…”
She squeezes me firmly again. “I am so happy for you, Casen. You deserve to be happy and she is beautiful. Bring her to dinner sometime.”
I can’t tell her Embyr isn’t mine. I don’t want to have that discussion. I just nod and turn to Mr. Smith, shaking his hand.
“Am I okay to stay at your house tonight again, Casen?” Kate asks after a quick side hug.
I kiss the top of her forehead. “Of course. You shouldn’t have a problem getting in.”
I gave Kate the key to my place the other day. She’s been staying at my house since she arrived from Lake Forest. Though she could stay at her parents, she wanted to have somewhere to go to mourn in her own way without having to go back to her empty apartment. I offered to let her stay at my place for the duration of her stay.
Reece says his goodbyes as well and I take one more look at the closed casket, tapping a hand on it before we leave.
The restaurant next door has an adjacent parking lot to the funeral home so we walk over, leaving our cars where they are. I was able to time my arrival with Reece so I didn’t have to walk into the wake alone. I didn’t think for even a moment that Embyr would be there.
“I don’t understand why you said that to Trinity,” Reece says as we walk through the crowded restaurant.
I shrug noncommittally. “I’d say I’m sorry but right now I don’t even know what’s real anymore.”
We pull out stools at the bar in the back of the restaurant. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on with Embyr? You haven’t said a word about it all week.”
The bartender takes our drink orders before I answer. “I don’t even know how to tell you this, Reece.”
His face is stone. Unmoving. He is just waiting for an explanation. I haven’t told him about Embyr’s and my break up.
“You know how I called Embyr ‘Annie’?”
He nods, looking down into his glass.
“Embyr is really Annie Barnes.”
Nothing. No intake of breath. No gasp. No wide eyes. Reece is like a statue, not bothering to look me in the face. I’m confused. I would think that Reece would have some sort of response to finding out that Embyr is really Annie. THE Annie.
Then it clicks. “You knew!” I yell, pushing myself up and away from the bar. “You fucking knew the whole time.”
Reece stands up too. “Wait, wait, wait. No, man. I didn’t know the whole time. Sit back down.”
