I smiled at the corniness and felt sort of giddy that he would introduce himself.
“Hey. What’s up?”
Weston sighed. “I didn’t want to go to bed without clearing the air.”
“Oh?”
“What happened with us tonight ...” he started, and I felt my heart drop. In the lack of afterglow, thanks to me moving away from him right away, I wanted to tell him that we shouldn’t have done that, but instead I’d told him we couldn’t do it again for a while because I wasn’t ready to shut the door on him yet. Although I didn’t figure that out until after I’d said what I said.
Weston sighed again. “I know you’re going through the unthinkable right now, as well as having a recent breakup, but I wanted to be clear about how I feel. Tonight, I should’ve walked away, but I couldn’t. Mostly out of fear I would hurt you. Instead, I took a chance, knowing damn well the odds were not in my favor. I like you, Antonia. A lot. And I don’t plan to stop or go away until you tell me to take a hike.”
His words, while a bit all over the place, put a grin on my face and gave me a smidge of hope, longing, and desire, but I suspected that was a holdover from earlier.
“Weston, I like you, too, but my thoughts and feelings are jumbled right now. I can’t tell if the tears I want to cry now are because of Miri or because, while I should have regrets about what we did—”
“Antonia—”
“No, let me finish. I want to get this out while I have an ounce of courage in me. I don’t even know you, not really. I thought I knew Brendan after four years, and I was completely wrong about who he was when things got tough. You’ve stepped up when you didn’t have to. I don’t have regrets about what we did, but at the same time, I don’t know if it’s because I’m broken or because I’m falling for you.”
“Definitely the latter,” he said, laughing softly, trying to lighten the mood. After a pause, he said, “You can trust that I’m not going anywhere. I’m not Brendan. When things get tough, I don’t run. I fix porches and drive kids to tournaments and sit in hospital waiting rooms. That’s who I am. I’m not going to pressure you into anything.That’s not the type of person I am. But I will be there, basking in your presence, because while you may not see it right now, being near you is the missing piece to my life.”
Honest to goodness, that was probably the best compliment I’d ever received from a person, especially a man.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything, Antonia. They’re my words, and I mean every single one. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were going to be someone special in my life. By my side was how I saw you, us standing next to each other as we blaze a path through this world, and if there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that when I set my mind to something, I usually achieve it.”
“You seem rather sure of yourself.”
Weston let out something that sounded like a cocky, self-assured chuckle.
“I’m sure of this,” he said. “The way we effortlessly connected. The way we fit together, how we didn’t fumble around each other. I’m patient. I’ll wait for you to catch up.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then you don’t, and I’m still your friend. I’m still the guy who will come fix porches and drive kids to tournaments and sit in hospital waiting rooms, because that’s what friends do.”
“I definitely need friends.”
“You have them. Think about what I said. You’re not alone in this. Good night, Antonia. Thank you for a very memorable evening.”
“Thank you for mine,” I said and hung up before I could add anything more embarrassing. I wasn’t used to having a man bare his feelings this way. Brendan never told me he liked me without me asking if he did. I told him I loved him first. We rarely compromised on anything. The more I thought about him and our relationship, the more it became clearer that I’d been with him for the wrong reasons, and he’d been with me for ... who the hell knew.
The water turned cold, and my thoughts never wavered from Weston and our moment together. I finally rinsed off, got out, and, once dressed, I snuck to the kids’ rooms to check on them.
At Nova’s room, I carefully turned the knob to open her door. She lay in her bed, with my mom’s arms wrapped tightly around her. The first couple of nights after Miri’s death, Nova had woken up screaming in the middle of the night. While this sleeping situation worked for now, my mom would go home tomorrow. Something told me Nova would end up crawling into my bed.
I walked to Cutter’s door, pressed my ear to it, and heard noises coming from his phone. A phone that wasn’t allowed in his room. I knocked softly, and the sound muted as I heard him say, “Come in.”
“Hey,” I said as I motioned toward the phone on his bed. “That’s not supposed to be in here.”
Cutter stood and handed me his phone. “Do you think we can revisit some of the rules we have in place?”
“Sure, with the understanding I may keep and alter them to my liking, and possibly add my own.”
He plopped against his bed. “Okay.”
“Can I come in?”
