I watch as my girl falls asleep the best she can.There’s no way in hell she’s not in pain after having an emergency cesarean section.I might not be a woman, but I sure as hell know giving birth in any manner is painful as hell and that doesn’t simply go away once the baby is born.My woman was cut open and sewn back together again.She’s going to be in pain and I know she won’t complain at all.Nothing will be said by her if she’s in too much pain because she sees that as being weak and a burden to those around her.If there’s one thing I know undoubtedly in this world, it’s Peyton.I can read her mind and know what she’s thinking or feeling by the look in her eyes.No one else knows her the way I do.With the exception of her dad.He’s the only other one who truly knows everything about her.
Sitting in the chair next to the bed, I watch Peyton sleep.Her breaths are even and steady and all the worry and fear is missing from her face.This is how I want to see her every single day of our lives—no worry or fear of what’s going to happen next because of things we can’t control.Because of people we can’t control or find at this moment.She deserves everything good in this world and I plan on making sure she gets it for the rest of her life.Even if it means sacrificing myself in the process.
***
Peyton managed to getabout another two hours of sleep before the babies woke her up.Cooper started crying which made Chayne cry.She was instantly alert and looking all over the room for our babies.I was holding Cooper in my arms with Chayne’s bassinet right next to me.Homicide and Brick are directly outside the door so no one other than the nurse and Dr.Matthews can come in the room.The only other doctor will be Chayne’s when they make an appearance so we know the next steps in what has to be done to help him.
“They’re hungry,” Peyton murmurs groggily as she tries to adjust her position in the bed before crying out in pain.
“Slow down, Tutor.Let me help you,” I tell her, standing and carefully setting Cooper down next to Chayne in the bassinet.Both of them seem to calm down when they’re directly next to one another.If they’re in separate bassinets, neither baby likes it.
Turning, I press the button to adjust the head of the bed so Peyton’s in a sitting position.From the grimace on her face, I know she’s in pain from this position in bed and I want to do something to help her make it better.Helping her lean forward, I adjust the pillows behind her back until she can get more comfortable.It’s not a lot, but it’s something more than what it was a few seconds ago.The grimace is almost completely gone from her face now.That’s a win if you ask me.
“Do you want them both at once or will you feed them one at a time?”I ask her, wanting to help her any way I can.
“I think I should try it one at a time for now.This is a first for me and I don’t want to hurt them by accident,” she tells me, looking toward the bassinet.“I don’t have a preference for which one you hand me first.Or, you could use one of the bottles they have and feed the other baby while I nurse one.”
“Why don’t we let them get used to nursin’ first, Peyton?That way they prefer that over havin’ a bottle,” I return, lifting Cooper back in my arms to hand her over to her mom.
Yes, I want to hand over Chayne, but she needs something happy right now.Seeing our son might make her upset once again and that’s the last thing I want.It kills me to see her cry and know she’s upset for any reason.This isn’t something I can fix for her.
I keep my eyes locked on my girls as I lift Chayne in my arms.Cooper latches on like a champ and nurses while Peyton uncovers her small body and checks out our daughter for the first time.The same thing I did with our moms when the babies were brought in the room from the NICU.They both have all their little fingers and toes.Our son and daughter are so much smaller than other babies I’ve seen but my mom assured me it was normal since they’re twins and they were born a little bit earlier than if Peyton only had one baby at a time.Things I didn’t realize until the moment this became my reality.I wouldn’t change a single thing about it either.Even Chayne having something wrong with him.This is how our life is supposed to be going and as long as Peyton is by my side, we’ll get through it.
Peyton burps our daughter after a few minutes of her eating and then switches her to the other side.I use this time to change Chayne’s diaper after getting him settled down with one of those pacifiers.My girl nurses our daughter and hands her over for me to burp and change while taking Chayne in her arms.I know the moment she notices what’s going on with him.Peyton’s body tenses and silent tears roll down her face.It doesn’t stop her from looking over every single inch of our boy though.
Once our twins are fed, Peyton tells me to let people in our room.It’s time for our family to meet the twins and welcome them.With a nod of my head, I open the door and Brick gives me a nod because he knows what’s about to happen.Letting the door close once more, I give it a minute before our room is full of everyone we love and hold close in our lives.
“Where’s my Baby Girl?”Peyton’s dad asks, making his way in the room before anyone else.
I watch as he makes his way to the opposite side of the bed and leans down to give her a gentle hug so he doesn’t hurt her.The two of them whisper for a few seconds as the tears continue to roll down my girl’s face.My parents, Kimber, and Callum surround me as Jennifer, her mom Kelly, and Barb surround her dad, Gary.Everyone else fills in around the room where they can as I move the bassinet closer to me.No one needs to accidentally bump into it and wake the twins up when they just went back to sleep.
“They’re so small,” Kimber comments as she looks down at the twins with Caydence in her arms.
Cedric moves through the room until he’s standing right next to me.I watch as he pretends not to look in the bassinet at his new babies.Since we didn’t know what we were having, he’s just been saying they’re his babies.It’s cute as fuck if you ask me.Bending down, I lift him up in my arms so he can get a better look at them.
“Do you wanna know their names?”I ask him, my voice softer than normal as everyone in the room stops talking.
“Yes,” he whispers, not moving his eyes from the twins.
“Your baby brother’s name is Chayne Matthew and your sister’s name is Cooper Alexandra.What do you think of them?”I ask him, moving closer so he can get a better look at the babies.
“Small,” he whispers, still staring at them.
“They are small.But they’ll get bigger like you and Caydence.It’s just gonna take some time,” I inform him as Gary walks over and lifts Chayne in his arms and holds him close to his body.
When Peyton was sleeping, I stepped out of the room briefly to inform everyone what was going on with our son.The last thing I wanted was for everyone to enter the room and make a comment that hurt Peyton.They all understood where I was coming from and I know the ol’ ladies of the club have already gone into detective mode to research the hell out of what Chayne has and what has to be done to help him.That’s just who they are and what they do.Especially Kimber because she loves Peyton and this is her niece and nephew.
“I watch them,” Cedric says, his voice full of determination and I know he means those words.He already watches over Caydence and it will be the same with the twins.Maybe worse because they are so much smaller than Caydence is.
“Can I hold the other one?”Kimber asks me as I nod in response.
Cedric’s attention immediately goes to Kimber where she lifts Cooper from the bassinet and cradles my daughter against her chest.Gary and the rest of Peyton’s family are focused on Chayne as my family circles around Kimber and Cooper.Everyone else is patiently awaiting their turn to hold one of the twins while I keep Cedric in my arms and move to stand closer to Peyton.
“Is this too much for you?”I ask her, needing to know if people need to start leaving the room.
“No.It’s perfect,” she responds, a soft smile on her face as she looks around the room.
Marie is taking pictures with her phone while everyone else talks in small groups and pays attention to Cedric, Caydence, and the twins.
