“Does anyone else know?”I question him, needing my dad at my side right now.
“Not yet.I haven’t left your side since you were wheeled out of the operatin’ room.Brick and Kimber might because they’re outside the NICU with the twins right now.No one will get close to our children.Caydence and Cedric are with your parents and Jennifer.Her husband will be here in a little while.He was gonna take their son to the park to get rid of some energy before showin’ up here,” he informs me, as I try to get comfortable in the hospital bed I’m laying in.
“Okay.What about names?”I ask, needing to get my mind off of the situation our son or daughter is in.
“You’ve mentioned likin’ Cooper and I like Chayne.So, why don’t we name our little girl Cooper and our son Chayne?I happen to like Chayne Matthew and Cooper Alexandra Whitfield.What about you?”he asks, pressing a kiss against the back of my hand while never taking his eyes off of me.
I take a few minutes to think of the names he just shared with me.Honestly, I love them.Tears fill my eyes once again and this time it’s happy tears.Matt reaches up and wipes them away but they’re falling too fast for him to catch them all.The front of my gown is getting really wet from how much I’m crying and I hate the fact that this is happening at all.One of the things I’ve always hated is crying.Not because I think they make me look weak or anything, but because I’m an ugly crier and the last thing I want anyone to do is see me when I’m the most broken and vulnerable.
“I love them, Matt.They’re the perfect names for our little ones,” I finally tell him as I lift my head slightly and he leans over to give me a kiss.
Nurses come and go from my room in recovery letting me know I’ll be taken up to my room shortly.Once we’re in the room the babies will be brought in to us and a doctor will be in to talk to us.One of the nurses lets us know it’s our son who has the medical issue.Our little girl is smaller than her brother but both of them are healthy apart from the craniostenosis.While part of me is relieved our twins are healthy, I can’t get over Chayne having something wrong with him.This is something that’s going to weigh heavily on me for a very long time.Something I’ll have to process and work through with the help of my family and friends.
Chapter Seventeen
Carbon
IFUCKING HATE hospitals.This is the last place I want to be, but I won’t leave my woman and kids here alone for any reason.Especially when our son has medical issues.We’re about to spend a lot of time in the hospital for appointments and surgery moving forward.It’s better for me to get used to being here now so I don’t make Peyton feel some type of way when we’re constantly here moving forward.I think most of us in the club hate hospitals for our own reasons.My own personal reasons are because we’ve lost too many lives who enter the doors.Plus, I can’t get past the smell of antiseptic and death.Every damn hospital smells the same and I feel like it takes several showers to wash the smell off of my body.Especially from my hair.For Peyton and our son, I’ll be here every fucking day and not bitch for a single second about it.These are the most important people in my world and I’d do anything for them.
Peyton is just now getting moved up to a regular room on the labor and delivery floor.It means we get to see our kids and get them out of the NICU.The last place I want them is to be in the nursery when we’re all here in the hospital.We’re already split up enough as a group and we have no clue where the hell the stalker is.If they find out Peyton went into labor and had the babies, who knows what the hell they’ll do.I’m not about to take any risks when it comes to our children.Plus, I’m the only one here with Peyton because no one else is allowed in the recovery room with us.Everyone is sitting in the waiting room upstairs for us to make our way up to her room.
I walk right next to the bed Peyton’s in and hold her hand as we make our way through the halls of the hospital.It’s a tight fit when we get in the elevator, but we make it work.Peyton has tears in her eyes and I know she’s thinking of our son and having to tell our family members there is something wrong with him.In her mind, they’re all going to blame her for what’s wrong and I know for a fact that’s not the truth.No one will blame a single damn thing on her because this is just something that happened and we’ll grow closer as a family while we deal with whatever comes our way.
Yes, I’m angry there is something wrong with our son.I would take it from him in an instant if I could.There is no way in hell I’m going to be okay with knowing our son has to have surgery and doctor’s appointments more than other children his age.I want to know why this is happening to Chayne and what caused it.Rationally, I know there is no rhyme or reason to anyone getting sick or having some kind of medical issue like this.However, right now, I have to focus on Peyton and trying to keep her out of her head and blaming herself for this.Mentally she needs to focus on healing and being strong for our children.All of our children.Cedric and Caydence need to know they aren’t going to be pushed to the side because of the twins.We’re all one family and they won’t be treated any different because of the new babies.
Honestly, I’ve been thinking about talking to Peyton about adopting Cedric and Caydence.I don’t care that they’re not my biological children.As far as anyone is concerned, they’re my children and no one will tell me any different.Clark has died and there is nothing stopping me from adopting them as my own.I want all of us to have the same last name.
“We’ll bring the twins in shortly.If you need anything else, just press the call button and someone will be with you as soon as possible,” one of the nurses tells Peyton as they get her bed in place and lock the wheels so she doesn’t go rolling across the floor.
“Thank you,” she says, her voice broken as I reach over and cover her up better with the blankets they have on her.
These damn hospital blankets are thin as hell and I know she’s gonna be cold.Pulling my phone from my pocket, I send a message to my sister for a thicker blanket.I know there’s one in the truck.She lets me know they already went to the store and bought some new stuff.Including a thick blanket for Peyton and the twins.They also bought a heater and a fan in case the room is too cold or hot for our small family.The second they’re allowed in the room, they’ll deliver it all to us.
“Peyton, do you wanna get some rest before we let anyone in?”I ask my girl as her eyes flutter again.
“They can come in whenever they want,” she sleepily answers while trying to open her eyes again.“I’m just gonna close my eyes for a second.”
