“Absolutely. Come on, baby.” Aaron stands, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the bed. Once I’m standing, he runs his hands through my hair until it’s not sticking up anymore.
“I’m too sleepy—leave me here to die alone.” I groan, falling back onto the bed. Stairs? I’m good. Aaron grabs me before I hit the mattress and throws me over his shoulder. “Hey!”
“What? Now you don’t have to walk.”
And that’s how we go downstairs to make cider with our little family.
???
Felix and Kayla are staying with Kayla’s family for the night to divide their time between the two. As I have no family of my own—we’re staying at the Archer house. Aaron gives me some of his briefs and one of his old soccer shirts to wear to bed as I make my way to the shower. The space is so familiar, it really just feels like I’m back home. I strip down and get under the hot water—wetting my hair and scrubbing my scalp with the shampoo Felix and I used to use. As I’m scrubbing, I canfeelhis eyes on me. I may be wrong—my eyes are closed—but I’m pretty sure that just like six years ago, Aaron is standing there, watching me. I’m not rushing, I plan to take my time whether he’s there or not.
Once the shampoo is rinsed, I run the water over my eyes and rub them. And yeah—when I open them Aaron is there—leaning against the wall, holding the curtain open as he watches me.
“Aaron.” I greet.
“Hi, Button.” He grins. “What’re you doing?” He’s playing the whole damn thing out.
“Showering—clearly. Did you need to shower?” Aaron shakes his head, saying nothing else. I grab the body wash. It looks so similar to the first time—only now I don’t have to think of dead puppies to keep from getting a boner.
He stays in that same spot—arms crossed—following my every move until I turn the water off. Then, he disappears.I dry off and dress in the sleep clothes he gave me, finding him in bed as I walk into the room.
“Hey there.” He greets, lifting the blanket for me to come crawl in.
He looks like seventeen-year-old Aaron—he looks like home and comfort and purpose. My entire life before and after this moment is lying in this bed in front of me and he’sso fucking beautiful.
As I’m moving to turn the light off, I stop at the space in his room right before the bathroom door. This is where our biggest fight happened.
“Button?” I look up to where forever lays and suddenly there’s sorrow.
“For someone who claims to be completely at my mercy, you sure enjoy crushing me.” I watch his eyes widen as he sits up on the bed. “This spot here—I told you to never touch me again. You told me you wouldn’t be with me, so I said I’d spare you and you were so happy. That day you broke my heart in a way no one ever had before. Not even my own mother.” Aaron is staring at me as if he doesn’t know what to say—what to do. How to fix it now.
“I… I remember that.” Is all he says.
“I asked you if you’d ever accept us—accept me. You said nothing, even when it meant me leaving.” Aaron is jumping out of the bed and walking to stand in front of me. We are positioned exactly as we were that day. “I told you I was made to be touched by you—asked you to be my god and take what you needed from me that day. In return, you told me that if you ever fucked me, I’d never get away from you. You’d own me forever.” His eyes are full of so much emotion, so much pain and nostalgia and happiness in remembrance of the happier bits.
“I remember.” He repeats, giving me room to get it all out.
“That day was such a monumental day for us. So much was torn apart—so much was forged. I wanted to hate you for breaking my heart, making me think I could have you. But I also knew you and some part of me knew there had to be something else there. Ijust couldn’t give myself that hope. It was too scary.” Aaron nods, taking a step closer to me. “You bit the back of my neck for the first time on that bed. You held me after my dad’s market freak-out—slept with me all night. So much has happened here in this one room. So many years have passed between us.” I cup his jaw—catch the one tear that has managed to fall from his beautiful green eyes. “I will never forget any of it. No matter how horrible some memories may feel—there are a hundred more that tell me you love me—that all these years running in circles, breaking each other’s hearts was worth it in the end.”
“Benjamin, I love you. I regret that day a lot—being too scared to accept us. For thinking I was so noble by keeping my distance like some kind of martyr. I remember every time I saw Drew touch you or every time you’d pass by me like I didn’t exist—glare like you hated me. I deserved it all and it was horrible. I remember all of it. You coming home all bloody, angry, scared. Cleaning your body and holding you so you didn’t cry—replaying in my mind all the different ways I could kill your father. We have two lifetimes worth of trauma to look back on—but more than that is every time I looked at you and wanted you—admired you—loved you.”
I’m kissing him—I’ve done enough reminiscing now. Aaron wraps an arm around my waist, holding my cheek with his other hand.
I place a hand over his heart—feel it racing—feel how alive he is, howminehe is. I back him up until he’s sitting on the bed, letting him pull me to straddle his lap. His hands are running under the shirt he gave me to wear; his mouth is ravishing my neck. My hands are in his hair as I roll my hips against his—gasping at the feel of his hardening dick against mine through our briefs.
“After I watched you shower—or when I could hear you so close to me in the next room—I’d touch myself and think of this moment. I’d think—if I went in there right now and touched him, would he follow me in here? Would he cry and beg? I wanted you so badly.” He loves telling me all the ways he thought about defiling me when we were young. Again and again.
Aaron’s kissing my throat, touching the bars in my nipples. I’m trying to keep from making too much noise as I whine and gasp, rubbing myself against him desperately.
“Aaron, I love you.” I tell him—but it sounds like I’m gasping it with my last breath of air. He groans quietly against me.
“I love you too, baby. I haven’t fucked you in this bed before.” A statement. A question. An order.
“Touch me then.” I’m being a brat, I know I am. But he makes it so fun—so fucking hot to be one. Aaron pulls back to look into my eyes and I can see it there—the question.No please?“Aaron. I want you to fuck me on this bed please.” I try again and he grins, nodding just once.
“Good boy. Let’s get my clothes off you.”
???
