“How did we sleep on this every night?” I’m laughing, leaning over the bed to see all the various pillows and blankets we shared.
Felix grabs me around the waist—throwing himself onto the bed and taking me with him. Once he has us situated the way we slept growing up—side by side on our backs, legs thrown over each other, he sighs.
“You know—I really miss these years. When it was just me and you.” I turn my head and he’s already looking at me. “Watching you on stage with Phoebe or seeing you over the years get closer and closer to Aaron—it has felt like losing a part of myself. I mean, I didn’t breathe air that wasn’t yours first for so long.” The tears are welling up in my eyes as he reminisces—as he smiles so gently at me—so familiar.
“You’re still my best friend. I may be in love with Aaron, butI love you, the same way I always have. For a very long time you were theonly safe thing in my world. This space with you.” Felix yanks me toward him, wrapping his arms around me and shoving my face into his chest.
“Oh, Bear. We were each other’s first soulmates. Platonic—but just as real. I’m so sorry you’ve had to suffer through so much. Nothing makes me happier than seeing your happiness finally make an appearance.”
Felix’s heartbeat is so warm and comforting. It’s a safe and soft sound that I’ve heard more times than even I can imagine. I wrap my arms around his torso and feel his heat soak into me—let myself believe we are sixteen again and we’ve been out in the summer sun too long. Tomorrow—we’ll get snow cones. Aaron and Amber will come.
Everything around me feels right, it’s where and what it should be. We fall asleep like that. We fall asleep in that dream. On the grass sharing snow cones—laying on top of each other and laughing over nothing.
???
“I used to find them like this all the time. Or punching each other—just depending on the day, I guess.” I can hear Aaron, can feel him in this room with me.
“Aaron?” I’m too warm to move. Too content to imagine breaking this nostalgia.
“Hey, Button. Enjoying your nap?” He sounds so much like Aaron now and Aaron then. Maybe I’m still in my dream. I hug Felix tighter to me.
“Am I sixteen or are you in love with me?” I ask him—relishing in the sound of his laugh—taking in a big breath of Felix and letting it wrap around me.
“Two things can be true. But no, baby—you’re not sixteen.” I feel a little disappointed to be out of my little dream world, away from the haven we had built.
“Oh. It was nice. In here—with Felix and you. So warm and safe for me.” I feel Aaron brush hair off of my face but I’muncertain if it’s mine or Fe’s. “We were getting snow cones.” I grin, finally opening my eyes little by little.
“Were we?”
“Yeah—Amber too.”
“Score!” I guess Amber’s in the room with us. I lean up as much as I can in Felix’s death grip and stare down at him. So beautiful—like all of the Archer family. Thick black curls, strong nose, full lips. When he wakes, those incredible green eyes will look upon the world again. An exact copy of Aaron—somehow managing to be entirely different.
“Aw, Fe. He looked just like this then, too.” I look around the room. The whole fucking family—minus Tina and Greg—are watching me like I’m a super-captivating movie. “What?”
“You’re just so cute all wrapped up with Felix like you’re babies again.” Amber coos—Serenity slapping her arm. Kayla’s taking so many pictures it’s ridiculous.
“You guys better not do this when I go reminisce in Aaron’s room. I don’t think you want to see that.”
“Oh my God.” Felix says against my chest—groaning at the light. “You did not fuck my brother while I was home. Right?”
“Of course not.” I scoff. “He did watch me shower, though.”
“Oh my God!” Felix cries, burying his face into my chest even further.
“Fuckin’ snitch.” I look at Aaron who’s sitting on the bed on the other side of me and give him a little grin.
“I knew!” Amber raises her hand, full of pride.
“Wow. Hypocrite.” I shoot back—Aaron shrugs.
“Babe—make it stop. I’m being traumatized over here.” Felix complains. Kayla rolls her eyes but comes to the bed anyway.
“You poor thing. Let’s go make apple cider, yeah?” Felix shoots up, giving me a pitiful frown.
“Sorry, Bear. Some things are more important than bonding over our childhood.” Then he and Kayla leave the room.
“That’s cold. Anyway—y’all want to go make cider?” Amber turns on her heel to followthe others.
