‘And I was wrong.’
Pushing the plate to one side, I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. Ashley walked around the desk, took a seat in the chair opposite mine and kicked up her feet, resting them inches away from my nose.
‘Thought you weren’t allowed to write this stuff down. Witchy by-laws and all.’
‘I’m not documenting anything.’ I spoke louder than necessary, just in case any ancestral ghosts happened to be passing by and felt the need to police my list. ‘It’s just a list, nothing incriminating, and I’ll burn it when I’m done.’
‘Hmm,’ Ashley said before reading my list out loud. ‘“Wolf attack, Catherine missing, why can’t I see the ghosts, how can I convince Lydia she doesn’t want to be a bitch—”’
‘Witch.’
‘I stand by my interpretation. Prophecy, where does blessing come from, and, oh, interesting, this last one is underlined, one, two, three,fourtimes? Jackson. Tell me, darling niece of mine, whyever would you need to underline Jackson Powell’s name four times when your honey, Wyn, didn’t make the list at all?’
‘Wyn isn’t on the list because I’m not worried about him,’ I said, although it wasn’t entirely true.
Wyn wasn’t on the list because every time I thought about him, I was overcome with guilt I did not have the emotional bandwidth to entertain. I allowed myself one self-indulgent sigh and rocked back against my leather chair.
‘Why is nothing ever easy?’ I said. ‘With everything else that’sgoing on, wouldn’t you think the universe would at least give me a pass on boy trouble?’
Ashley leaned forward to steal a handful of my chips. ‘It’s only trouble if you have feelings for him. Which you don’t. Right?’
‘Right,’ I said, sounding way more sure than I felt. ‘I mean, I like him as a friend. Do I think he’s attractive? Sure. Do I like spending time with him? Sure. If I had never met Wyn, would things be different? Who knows.’
‘Not so shabby for a runner-up prize.’
‘Jackson doesn’t come in second to anyone,’ I said too quickly, looking away when she raised an eyebrow.
‘But you love Wyn.’
‘I love Wyn,’ I confirmed. ‘And only Wyn.’
‘Not to make myself unpopular but …’ She nudged my plate towards me and I obediently picked up half the sandwich and took a bite. ‘Can I ask why?’
I looked back at her, confused.
‘Why do I love Wyn?’
She nodded, waiting for my answer while I chewed and swallowed. It was absurd to me, the thought of having to justify our connection. Wasn’t it clear to everyone? Wasn’t it as obvious as the sun in the sky? According to the look on Ashley’s face, it was not, and when I searched for the right words to describe it, I struggled.
‘Because we’re part of each other,’ I said finally. ‘It’s like we’re woven together. If you pulled on one thread, we would both unravel.’
‘Deep.’ Ashley’s eyebrows flashed up her forehead. ‘Also he’s stupid hot.’
‘Doesn’t hurt his case, but that’s not why I love him.’
I paused again, looking for words that didn’t exist.
‘I don’t know how else to explain it,’ I said, ‘other than to say we’re the same. Not two pieces that fit together but onewhole that should never have been separated. He is me and I am him. I know we’re meant to be together the same way I know I have to keep breathing.’
‘Same person, huh? So I only have to buy y’all one Christmas gift?’ She opened her mouth and tossed in another chip. ‘Then there isn’t much of a problem here, is there? Jackson likes you. You like Wyn. Wyn likes you. Too bad, Jackson. Why are you so vexed?’
It was something I’d been wondering since he left and I didn’t like the answer I’d come up with.
‘Because,’ I said, dropping my voice as though afraid the books might hear me. ‘What if I’m wrong?’
‘About what?’
‘About Wyn’s feelings,’ I made myself say, grimacing at another stab of guilt. ‘About mine.’
