‘Oh, brother.’
She grabbed the glass of lemonade and took a swig.
‘Should’ve thrown some bourbon in here,’ she muttered before wiping the palm of her hand over her face. ‘OK, let’s go at this from the top. As for whether or not you’re wrong about Wyn, honey, there’s no way to be sure about that. Smarter women than you have done dumber things than fall for the first pretty boy to bat his eyes in her direction. For what it’s worth, I believe he loves you.’
‘I know he does,’ I said, as certain as it was possible to be. ‘But people who love me have hurt me before. How am I supposed to know if that’s enough?’
She didn’t speak for a long while. Instead, she sipped her drink and went on eating my chips until they were all gone. I ate my sandwich in silence. We were thinking of the same people. People who loved us but still made choices that hurt us all. Her mother, her brother, my grandmother, my father.
‘Since I can’t read those boys’ minds, let’s go back to you,’Ashley said when the plate was completely clear. ‘Pretend you were meeting them both brand new. Jackson is the easier option on paper. Good kid from a good family, got great prospects, and yes, even as someone with a lifelong preference for the ladies, I can see he’s a looker. Doesn’t hurt that he thinks the sun comes up every day just to hear you crow, and even better, his family doesn’t want you dead.’
‘As far as we know,’ I said.
‘Even if they did, I’d rather take on Virginia and Alex Powell than a whole pack of werewolves,’ she pointed out. ‘The most vicious thing the Powells can do is have you barred from the Savannah ladies bridge club. Social suicide, yes, but would you rather be excluded from society holiday parties or have your guts ripped out by a pack of wolves?’
‘First one,’ I replied, gulping down what was left of my unspiked lemonade. ‘I’d very much like to keep my guts intact.’
She inclined her head in agreement.
‘And then we have Wyn,’ she said. ‘Also missed every branch of the ugly tree, also eyeballs to entrails in love with you. Polite, which I appreciate, but also a Were. Which might not be quite as big of a deal if you hadn’t, you know …’ she dragged her hand across her throat and made a croaking sound. ‘Offed his brother. Things like that make holiday parties a little complicated.’
‘Especially if his pack knows,’ I replied, eyes on the pressed tin ceiling.
‘They were going to find out eventually. You know you can’t live a life built on lies.’
‘If that’s right, how come so many people try?’
When I looked back to my aunt, her gaze had turned steely. She picked up a pencil and tapped it against the legal pad.
‘I once told you not to be a fool for love and I stand by that. One way or another, people always show you who theyare eventually. It’s up to you to decide whether you want to wait around to see it or make the call yourself.’
The list swam in front of my eyes, my own handwriting, the familiar loops and swirls, turning into incomprehensible scribbles on the page.
‘I just don’t know what to do,’ I said. ‘I thought coming into my full magic would make things easier, not more difficult.’
‘You can put wheels on your grandma but it won’t make her a wagon,’ Ashley replied. ‘You have the tools but you don’t know how to use them.’
Flicking her legs down from the desk, she stood slowly, picking up the empty chip packet and folding it three times into a small square.
‘Stop looking for answers in the library and start searching in the right place. You’re not studying for a test, you’re studying yourself.’
‘If only we had a room for that,’ I said with a sigh.
‘We do.’
Slipping the foil square into the back pocket of her jeans, she gave me a pointed look.
‘It’s time to stop pretending it doesn’t exist. You’ve tried everything else, done all that you can on your own and nothing has changed. A strong woman knows when it’s time to ask for help.’
I knew exactly what she was talking about.
‘I don’t want to,’ I said, quiet but certain. ‘Not after what she did in there.’
‘We don’t always have the privilege of having everything the way we want it,’ Ashley said with a soft touch on my shoulder. ‘You’ve got to be stronger than your fear, Em. You’re not just a Bell witch, you know, you’re my niece as well. Don’t let me down.’
When she left the room, tray in hand, she didn’t bother toclose the door. An invitation for me to follow. To go somewhere I’d been avoiding for a whole month.
Bell House was a mansion, four floors and more rooms than I could count on both hands, and there was more than one we left alone. As well as the library, the kitchen and the parlour, there was a study, a formal dining room and a breakfast room we never used. Behind the door opposite the library, a staircase led down to the garden level and three closed-up guest suites that had been untouched for decades. And upstairs, beyond mine, Ashley’s and Catherine’s rooms, the third floor, my parents’ old suite. But that wasn’t what Ashley was talking about. There was another room I’d deemed off limits, one I’d entered just once before and only then in the most dire of circumstances.
