‘In theory,’ I replied. ‘He’s a pastry chef, isn’t he?’
‘Shame we can’t keep him.’
Her words were light, a reminder, an apology, a warning.
‘Don’t look now but the Grinch just walked in.’ Desi gave me a nudge, holding her empty glass to her mouth to hide her words. ‘And she’s staring straight at you.’
Without turning around, I felt the atmosphere in the pub freeze over and knew exactly who it was.
‘Auburn hair, blue eyes, face like a smacked arse?’
My friend lifted her chin then lowered it all the way to her chest and I groaned at the sound of heavy footsteps that stopped right behind my stool.
‘Thanks for taking the Land Rover without telling me,’ Elsie said, a distinct smell of barnyard animal emanating from her ensemble. ‘If I don’t get the bags of feed tonight, I’m going to have to work Christmas Day.’
‘I thought there were no days off on a farm anyway?’ I replied, matching her gracious manners tit-for-tat. ‘Besides, I didn’t take it, your brother did.’
‘To ferry you and your idiot family around.’
‘Hi.’ Desi stood, hand outstretched. ‘Idiot family member number one. And judging by the state of you, you must be … don’t tell me, ghost of Christmas past?’
‘Is he here?’ Elsie asked me, ignoring Desi completely. ‘I need the fucking keys.’
‘At the bar,’ I pointed, still declining to make eye contact. There really was no point.
But Callum and Joel were already on their way back, smiling and carrying two glasses of scotch and two packets of crisps each.
‘Car keys.’
Elsie held out her hand as he set down his two glasses, one in front of his empty stool, one in front of me.
‘Here.’ He fished them from his pocket and handed them over. ‘Anything else?’
She didn’t move but I was sure I could hear the cogs of her brain turning.
‘You’re not going to invite me to sit down?’
Against my own best interests, I twisted in my seat to look at her.
‘Sorry, there’s no room at the inn.’
Joel and Desi exchanged a look, Desi’s mouth hanging open in delight.
‘I’ve time for a wee dram,’ she said, dropping into Callum’s seat before he could. ‘Nice of you to buy me a drink, brother.’
No one protested when she picked up the glass meant for me and took a sip but I heard Joel growl like an angry labradoodle.
‘So, Elise,’ Desi said. ‘Tell us about life on the farm.’
‘It’s Elsie,’ she corrected.
‘Right, that’s what I said,’ Desi replied easily. ‘Do you always smell this terrible or was there a particularly rancid chore on the to-do list today?’
‘Caroline, why don’t you remind me how you and Callum first met,’ Elsie said, staring through me as though Desi didn’t even exist. ‘Fiona was asking but I couldn’t remember the story.’
‘I walked in on him naked,’ I replied with a hiccup.
‘In the massage room,’ Callum added quickly. ‘I didn’t get under the sheet fast enough.’
