Joel pouted at the memory. ‘Turns out you have to have some sort of acrobatic ability and not just wild enthusiasm.’
Huddled in the corner closest to the fire, I smiled at the three of them as they carried on, chatting as if they’d known each other all their lives. It was wild how easily Callum slotted into our misfit little trio. Many had tried and all had failed. A few had come close, a man Joel dated briefly, who was in charge of buying all the cheese for Sainsbury’s and kept us in hot and cold running vintage cheddar, and a researcher at the BBC, who managed to get us all free tickets to the Eurovision Song Contest during his brief dalliance with Desi, but neither lasted more than six months. Joel liked to keep his options open and Desi claimed she bored easily. Other than that, very few people were invited into our weird, ongoing, ten-year-long conversation. Or, to be more honest, most people wanted no part of it. But here was Callum, sharing drinks and stories like we’d known each other all our lives. I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. My symptoms were getting worse.
‘If you had to join the circus, what would your act be?’ Desi asked Callum, as serious as if she’d just asked him how he’d bring about world peace. ‘Joel would be an acrobat, Laura would do the flying trapeze.’
He looked at me and I inclined my head to confirm.
‘I have literally no explanation,’ I said. ‘But I think I’d be really good at it.’
‘There’s nothing like baseless confidence,’ he replied before turning back to Desi. ‘What about you?’
‘Lion tamer. Obviously.’
‘Obviously.’ His very old chair creaked when he leaned back against it, rubbing the top of his head as he considered her question. ‘I don’t know what I would do, ride an elephant?’
‘Strongman?’ Joel suggested. ‘What about ringmaster?’
‘Most likely they’d have me driving the wee little clown car,’ Callum said, drawing more laughter out of my friends. ‘Twenty-five numpties in the back of a Toyota Yaris.’
After leaving Loch Ness behind, Nessie-less and starving, he’d driven us into Inverness where Joel had successfully obtained his body weight in shortbread and Desi trekked from chip shop to chip shop until she finally found a deep-fried Mars bar, much to Callum’s dismay. Now, we were sitting in The Clach, an early sunset painting the world outside the window with a riot of glorious colour, pink and purple and red, and as the sky dimmed, the white lights on the huge Christmas tree in front of the pub grew brighter and brighter, just like the stars.
I couldn’t remember a time I’d been so happy.
‘When do we have to leave for this carol service?’ Joel asked, tapping his smartwatch to check the time. ‘Is there time for another round?’
‘Plenty,’ Callum confirmed. ‘Why? Will we need it with your singing?’
‘None for me,’ I said as the two of them rose to stand. ‘Not unless you want me drunk.’
Desi poked me in the ribs and I promptly toppled off my stool, colliding face first with Joel’s legs. ‘You’re already drunk so you might as well have another.’
I couldn’t argue with her sound investigation.
‘I’d better let Gray know we’ll be back tomorrow to pick up the car,’ Callum said, patting down his pockets for his wallet as I righted myself, the room around me very slightly off its axis. ‘None of us will be driving after three drinks.’
‘Can you get some more snacks while you’re at the bar?’ I asked, holding up a particularly well-shaped crisp, impressed by its size and thickness. God, I was drunk. ‘I could go for some chips as well if the kitchen’s open.’
‘And to think you mocked me for eating that deep-fried Mars bar,’ Desi clucked. ‘Who’s laughing now?’
‘All of Scotland,’ Callum replied. ‘Every single person in the country.’
‘And I could not care less,’ she sniffed. ‘It was bloody delicious.’
I watched him walk across the pub, fully aware I was not looking respectfully. He was so tall, so solid, so permanent. There was something about Callum that seemed rooted to the ground, like I could lean all my weight on him and he would not budge an inch. Ever since we left the loch, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the way his body curled around mine when we were skimming stones, soaring on the high then crashing back down to earth when I remembered what he’d said.
Friends.
‘You doing all right?’ Desi asked, following my eyes across the bar to where Callum and Joel stood laughing with Graham.
‘More than,’ I said even though it was a lie. ‘Please don’t ask again.’
She squeezed my knee under the table.
‘I really like him.’
‘You don’t like anyone.’
‘And yet.’ She rested her head on my shoulder. ‘Do you think he knows how to make croissants from scratch?’
