‘It’s frowned upon,’ I flapped my hand behind me and almost poking Joel in the eye. ‘But you know how it is, if the trailer’s good, you want to see the movie. He lived up to the hype.’
My tongue was furry, my mouth was dry and my head getting fuzzier by the minute, as my regrettable second whisky passed through my empty stomach and into my bloodstream, coaxing a release of dopamine and serotonin. Elsie’s entire face tightened. She looked at me, looked at her despairing brother, then scanned the table, counting up all the empty glasses.
‘Are you drunk?’
‘No,’ I declared with confidence. ‘I don’t drink.’
‘Well, if you’re not drunk, there’s something else going on.’
‘You got me,’ I agreed. ‘I am on drugs.’
‘The love of a good man,’ Desi said loudly, pulling me in for a side hug. ‘Hell of a drug.’
‘And you two.’ Elsie turned to Desi and Joel. ‘Imbecile family member number one, was it?’
‘Idiot family member,’ Desi corrected. ‘Most people call me Svetty but you can call me Svetlana.’
‘And he is?’
She nodded across the table and all four of us chorused the name at once.
‘Joel.’
Elsie ran her tongue over her teeth, nodding slowly as though she was having a secondary, private conversation with herself.
‘And what’s your last name?’
‘M-mine?’ Joel stuttered. He never did do well under pressure. ‘It’s Soto.’
Elsie’s most dangerous smile found its way back onto her face and I shrank down inside my coat.
‘No, theirs,’ she pointed at me and Desi and a tiny squeak escaped from the back of my throat.
‘It’s Skarsgård,’ I announced with confidence. ‘Our last name is Skarsgård.’
‘Caroline Skarsgård,’ Elsie replied flatly. ‘And she’s Svetlana Skarsgård.’
‘Svetlana Skarsgård-Soto,’ Desi said without missing a beat. ‘I hyphenated when I got married.’
As if on cue, Callum, Desi and Joel all picked up their scotch at the same time and drank.
‘There’s something going on here,’ Elsie said again, tossing back the rest of my drink and slamming the glass on the table. ‘And I will find out what it is.’
‘Maybe try to make time for a shower first,’ Desi suggested. ‘It’s Christmas Eve, babes, make an effort.’
Looking around the table, we were all holding our breath when she marched away, Callum and I exhaling loudly when she passed through the door, Joel clapping his hands over his face and Desi letting out the loudest sigh I’d ever heard.
‘I don’t know what you did wrong in a former life to get stuck with her as a sister, but Callum, you’d better start making it up to the gods in this one,’ she said, rolling her shoulders back as though we’d been through a physical ordeal. ‘And you,’ she turned to me, a look of disbelief on her face. ‘Skarsgård? Really?’
‘Name another famous Swede!’ I challenged. ‘And I mean last name, you can’t just say ABBA.’
A gloomy cast covered Callum’s handsome face. ‘Weshould get on to the carol service. It’s a fair walk from here if we want to be on time.’
‘But my chips?’ I protested, still hungry, still drunk.
‘We’ll get some on the way,’ Desi replied, hoisting me up to my reluctant feet.
‘When it comes to Elsie, it’s not worth getting into a fight,’ Callum advised. ‘Best to do as I do.’
