‘You’re going to be too busy breaking up another fight,’ Sarah told him, pushing through the crowd that had gathered by the bouncy castle and leading us all through to the front.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Right between the bouncy castle and the big top, and suspiciously close to the bar, my father and Joe’s dad were bouncing around on their tiptoes, fists up in front of their faces and circling each other like they were starring in a senior citizen am-dram production ofRocky.
‘What is going on?’ I demanded, every guest at the party taking a single step back to leave me, Joe, William and Sarah alone up front. Behind our dads, I saw Genevieve Salinger and Nelson Allen looking on with very guilty expressions. So, the hot book deal news was out.
‘Never mind,’ I said as they both looked sheepishly away. ‘How did this happen? Where’s Mum? Where’s Mal?’
‘Your mum went to get the cake and the last time I saw Mal, he was holding a screaming child upside-down in the kitchen,’ Sarah replied, as Gregory started hopping from side to side. ‘I didn’t know what else to do.’
‘Saboteur!’ Gregory yelled. ‘You stole my author!’
‘I did no such thing!’ Dad yelled back. ‘I’m a huge admirer of Gen’s work. I made an offer for a book and it was accepted. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.’
‘Consider them well and truly knotted.’ He swung at the air in front of him, completely missing my dad. ‘This was your plan all along, drag me up here to the arse end of nowhere then humiliate me in front of my son and my peers.’
‘No, Gregory, I did not plan my birthday party exclusively to put one over on you,’ Dad replied archly as though it hadn’t been in the back of his mind since the very first time he spoke to theLlama Glamaauthor. ‘It’s just business, old friend. Isn’t that what you said to me when you poached Nelson?’
Both authors choked on their drinks and backed slowly away from the bickering twosome as everyone else drew closer.
‘You’re a petty man,’ Gregory said seething. ‘I don’t know how you can look at yourself in a mirror.’
‘Very easily, thank you very much,’ Dad replied. ‘I assume you had to get special mirrors made to accommodate the size of your head.’
‘Ignoramus!’
‘Narcissist!’
‘No, we’re not doing this.’ Joe jumped in between the two men as they started to scuffle, not so much boxing as exchanging awkward slaps and swipes, neither one wanting to commit to a full swing. ‘Dad, it’s Hugh’s birthday. Apologise.’
‘I’ll do no such thing,’ Gregory returned, the three of them all moving in unison, hands and arms flapping around in the most embarrassing display of violence this side of the 2022 Oscars. ‘He stole my author!’
‘You stole mine first!’
‘Take your hands off me, son.’ Gregory tore off his jacket and threw it to the ground. ‘This has been a long time coming.’
‘Might take him more seriously if he didn’t have massive sweat stains under his pits,’ Sarah whispered as she nibbled on a tiny sausage on a stick. ‘I’ve got a tenner on your dad, Michael Cunningham is running a book.’
The low Motown soundtrack that had been playing quietly in the background all night suddenly became much louder as ‘Eye of the Tiger’ blared out over the speakers. Beside me, William quickly closed the Spotify app on his phone.
‘What?’ he said when I gave him a look. ‘I already stopped one fight, I’m not the bloody UN.’
‘And you think this one will be better?’ I replied, looking at the two middle-aged men getting ready to duke it out.
‘I think the other one would’ve been sad,’ he answered. ‘This should be a banger. They need to get it out their system.’
I crossed my arms over my chest and bit my lip. ‘Trust me, that never works like you think it will.’
‘Get your hands off Hugh!’
From out of nowhere, CJ hurled himself into the fray with a pitchy battle cry, charging directly at Joe’s midsection, head down, shoulders braced, and speared him right in the stomach. Joe barely flinched as CJ bounced off him, landing flat on his arse.
‘What are you doing?’ Joe said as our fathers continued to swipe at each other. ‘I’m trying to stop them fighting, I’m not part of it.’
He held out a hand to help him up but CJ slapped it away.
‘Oh look,’ Sarah said as the second scuffle broke out. ‘The men are menning.’
