I lift her face to me, and I kiss her.She feels stiff to my touch, and her skin is cool.I caress her face and shoulders and then slowly remove what clothes she’s still wearing.
She needs skin-on-skin contact.Comfort and connection.It is my honor to give it to her.
I roll with her until she’s beneath me.I wrap my arms under her and she brings her legs around me.I hold her tight.I enter her body.And within moments, I feel her soften under me and respond.
Summer comes alive.She begins to move in sync with me, the way only she can.
I tell her I love her and will keep her safe.
It’s a languid and gentle melding that goes on and on.I have no concept of how much time goes by, but we stay like this, moving in harmony with one another but never changing position.It’s almost like we’re afraid to break the circuit.
We are carrying each other through the storm.
“I love you,” I tell her.I visualize my love pouring into her and spreading like white light through every cell of her body.
She ripples against me.I feel her respond to my touch, my strength.I give it all to her.
I feel it building in her as it builds in me.
“I love you.I love you.I love you.”
Summer bursts into tears.She orgasms just as I give her everything I am, everything I’m made of.I give it all to her.
CHAPTER 44
Summer
I’ve just lied to Declan for the first time.A flat-out falsehood.I meant to do it.
I ask him if he can get dressed and go outside and grab more firewood from the wood pile.I tell him I’m feeling cold, and I know that I’m going to use a lot more wood than usual.
He eyes the already substantial stack by the fireplace but does what I ask.I don’t deserve him.That’s the fucking understatement of the century.
When he returns, I tell him he can leave the wood on the porch, and I block his entrance back inside.I tell him he can’t stay here anymore.That he needs to leave.That I can’t have him around me and this is not his burden to carry.
At first, it looks almost as if he’s about to laugh.Then he looks like I’ve just slapped him.And now I don’t even recognize him.
Declan has always been the happiest person I know.No matter what’s happening around him, he maintains a baseline of happiness that’s far beyond what other people can manage.It’s one of the most endearing things about him.Come to think of it, since coming to Yosemite Ranch, I’ve been a lot like him.
I’ve been happy here.I mean, how could anyone not be happy living here?
Living.
Here.
But now, he’s crushed.I’ve crushed him.His skin is splotchy and his eyes are full of confusion and hurt.He doesn’t have a funny retort.He’s not flirting.He doesn’t kiss me in an effort to make me change my mind.
He just stares at me.“Fuck that, Summer.I’m not leaving your side.”
“That’s not your choice to make.”I place my palm against his chest and walk him farther onto the porch.“It’s my choice.And I’m telling you to go.This is the way it has to be done.”
“But we’re married.”
“Oh, Declan.We were married byBeyoncé.”
He shakes his head.“Not fuckin’ happenin.’Absolutely not.I’m not leaving you to deal with this alone.I can’t.”His arms fly up at his sides.“This is fucking insane!”
“I love you, but you have to go.”
