I guess I have been slacking on my friendship duties lately. I sigh and grab my shit to follow Niko out the door, catching up to him in the hallway.
“You want to go to Geno’s?” I ask as I fish my keys from my bag.
“Nah, let’s go to your place. I’ll pick up food on the way.”
I narrow my eyes a bit at that, wondering why we wouldn’t just go to our usual.What exactly is he planning?
I leave Niko at his car and head to mine, feeling apprehensive about what kind of inquisition I’m going to get when we meet up at my place. I spend most of my drive thinking through what I’m willing to share and what still feels…off-limits. Other than Nate, I haven’t talked about Ellie with anyone.
The idea of sharing with Niko certainly carries some relief. And if I’m being really honest, not hiding her in general would be a big weight lifted. But there’s something about her being justmineright now. I don’t want to keep her a secret. I just love having her all to myself and our time together feels almost sacred. Special. Like I get the privilege of getting to know this amazing person without anyone else interfering.
And while I trust Niko, I know the more people I share with, the more likely it is our relationship won’t be so secret anymore.
I park my car in my garage and head inside to wait for Niko. I wonder what Ellie would think of my house? I’ve made sure she knows we can always come here, but I think she believes it’s riskier going to my house. Even though we’d just park in the garage and it’s not like anyone would see us. Hopefully I can convince her to come soon.
I look around at my kitchen and living room, trying to imagine how she might see it. She’ll probably think it looks empty. Maybe plain. Ellie’s apartment is full of knickknacks and color andher. There’s tons of pictures and random framed things, like a fortune cookie message and a Red Sox ticket. It’s messy and adorable and special. Other than a few plants and hung-up memorabilia, my place is pretty plain and bare of detail like hers. I don’t even have enough stuff to make it messy if I wanted to. Ellie has lived in her place for less than six months and it has way more personality than my home of twelve years.
I wonder what she’d change about this place? I think she’d like the old wood floors and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the lake. She’d definitely like the brick fireplace and all the trinkets she could put on the empty mantel there. She seems like the type who would put up a huge Christmas tree and decorate it within an inch of its life. I imagine her balancing on a step stool to place corny ornaments on it and feel an involuntary smile pull at my lips. I bet it would be all colorful and chaotic instead of the stylish catalogue-inspired trees my previous girlfriends were always aiming for.
My eyes catch on the white rug under the leather couch and the white walls behind it. She’d hate those. She’ll probably want to paint or do some kind of wallpaper that’s super elaborate. I’d probably pretend to be unsure, but obviously she could do anything she wanted here and I’m sure I’d love it just because it was her choice. Those few days off in between her shifts would help with having time to decorate and make it…hers.
My chest feels tight at the thought, so I try to bring myself back to reality. We’ve only been together for a little while. And it’s all been in secret. She might not be interested beyond that. And she works downtown, so a commute from here would be brutal.
Now that I think about it, I’m not sure Ellie has a car. Or even drives? She mentioned walking to work before.
And then it hits me.
Ellie was in a car accident. A deadly one. Is that why she walks in the freezing cold to work? I know it’s close to her apartment, but it gets really cold here…
I’m jolted from my spiral when I hear a knock at my front door. I force myself to save those questions for later and go to let Niko in.
Nikolai Kotov has been on the team with me for the last fifteen years. He’s a few years younger than me and is known as “Koto” to the team and most fans, but to me he’s always just been Niko. He’s met my family a handful of times and I’ve even been to Russia to visit his twice. He’s quiet and loyal, a lover of Italian food and ice fishing, an extremely talented right winger, and one of the only people that I think loves hockey as much as I do. He has a slight Russian lilt when he talks and annoyingly perceptive light blue eyes that are currently narrowed at me in…skepticism.
Here we go.
He grunts and walks by me, headed to the kitchen to put the food down, I assume. I follow and go to untie one of the bags, but Niko pushes it away.
“Nope. Talk first. Then we can eat,” he says.
I roll my eyes and walk over to the couch to sit. Niko follows me and leans against the side of the fireplace with his arms crossed. I don’t love the power position he’s aiming for here, butI can tell he’s annoyed I’ve been keeping him in the dark about something.
I clear my throat. “About practice today—” I begin.
“Fuck practice. It’s been weeks. Spit it out,” Niko gripes.
I look at the corner of the room where I was picturing Ellie decorating a tree. I’m still staring at the made-up image when I catch movement in my periphery. Niko enters my line of sight and sits adjacent to me on the couch, slightly blocking my view of the tree corner.
I finally focus on him and nod my head behind him in the direction of my imaginary Ellie tree.
“I was picturing her decorating our Christmas tree in that corner before you got here,” I say.
Niko looks to the corner and back to me. Back to the corner. He slowly faces me again with a furrowed brow before speaking. “Okay.” He draws out theyas his brows lower farther over his eyes. “So you’re in love? You’re thirty-six, it’s about time you settle down, no? When can I meet her? What’s her name? Why have you been such a secretive little bitch about it?” His uncharacteristic, rapid-fire questions catch me off guard.
“I’m not in—” I cut myself off at the sudden realization that feels like a lie. “Shit.”
I look at that corner spot again and remember the tight feeling in my chest at the image I came up with. And the helpless feeling from this morning. My earlier fantasizing about fuckingwallpaperis making sense. I scrub my hands over my face. When I look back at Niko, I see him giving me a reserved smile.
“What’s the problem, man?” he asks. “This is good, yeah?”
