I stick my tongue out at him and stop my shifting, turning to focus on the group. I see Chandler look at John, and watch John face everyone.
“We actually have some news,” he says, a nervous smile on his face. He leans down and is reaching for something under the table. He comes back up and is holding…a sonogram?
“Oh my god!” I screech. “You’re pregnant?!” I push Josh out of the booth and scramble over to the other side to give Chandler a squeeze.
“Congrats, man,” Josh says behind me, giving John another hug and then leaning around me to give Chandler one too.
I move out of the way to let the rest of the hugs commence and settle back in my seat.A baby! Eeeek!I love babies. This is so exciting.
“Ellie, I need you to get pregnant so we can have babies together. I know Zoey is a lost cause,” Chandler says.
I laugh at the last part, elbowing Zoey.
“Hey, I do all my parenting at my job. I have nothing left for these hypothetical babies,” Zoey reminds us. She’s always known she doesn’t want kids and I respect the hell out of it. Kids are no small decision.
“We know,” I tell her affectionately and pat her leg.
“So…how about it, Ellie?” Chandler asks with a waggle of her eyebrows.
I laugh at her antics and knock my shoulder into Josh next to me. “I think the plan is to wait a couple years,” I tell her.
“Oh nice. Didn’t know you changed your mind, man. You gonna get it reversed?” John chimes in, and my gaze shifts from Chandler to him, but he’s looking at Josh.
I try to process what he just said while simultaneously watching his expression go from casual to…panicked.
It’s like my brain is moving in slow motion. I can see the alarm on his face, plain as day, but I can’t seem to connect the dots.Reversed… Reversed…
The loud chatter of the restaurant seems to fade to the background and a slight ringing in my ears takes over as my mind finally puts it together. I feel my face get hot and then it’s like something is squeezing my ribs. I try to quell the rising emotion so I don’t make a scene. A quick glance at the table and I know it’s too late. Everyone, even Zoey, is looking like they’d rather be anywhere else.
If there was any chance of me playing this as if I knew what was going on, I blew it with my dumbstruck reaction thirty seconds ago. I’m suddenly glad I haven’t eaten yet.
“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick.” I force a tight smile and angle a thumb toward the back of the restaurant. Josh isn’t dumb enough to keep me at the table and moves out of the way to let me out. I feel him following close behind me and can’t decide what to do.
I push open the bathroom door. He can wait.
I flick the lock and lean my forehead against the cool wood.
Okay.Okay.What the fuck.
Finding out my boyfriend of three years got a vasectomy in front of a group of friends was not on my bingo card. You know what else wasn’t on my bingo card? My boyfriend getting a vasectomy.
My mind is spinning with so many questions and so much hurt I can’t even form a coherent thought. When? Why? What does this mean aboutour relationship? I think back to when we started dating and how Josh asked about what birth control I was on. We’ve talked about kids, for fuck’s sake.
“Ellie?” I hear Josh’s muffled voice from outside the bathroom door as the handle gives a jiggle.
“This is the—” My voice cracks and I want to die. I swallow and clear my throat, trying to keep any tears from emerging. I really don’t want to do this here. “This is the girls’ bathroom,” I remind him, hoarse, shaky voice be damned.
I hear a rough sigh and the handle stops moving.
Where do I go from here?
PRESENT DAY
I tell myself it’s not even close to what happened last summer, but those hardwired feelings of betrayal surface like a reopened wound—painful and all too familiar.
Matt lied. And I know it was by omission, but I’vebeen there, done thatand my radar is throwing up a little red flag.
A fucking hockey player, of all things.
