I pace my kitchen like a sad, zoo-caged animal and debate trying the “screaming into a pillow” thing with this kitchen towel to see how that makes me feel. I don’t think I could actually scream though. Also that’s probably gross. I’ve been aggressively wiping the counter with it for the past ten minutes.
Goddammit.
He was so nice. And sweet and patient and…ugh, hot. No wonder he has massive quads and a literal six-pack. Obviously finding the perfect guy to practice with would come with a catch.
I don’t know where to go from here. I laugh humorlessly at the cruel reminder of having that exact thought all those months ago. There’s just really nothing like finding out your boyfriend of three years withheld life-changing information from you for your entire relationship. It leaves a bit of a mark.
And I know Matt and I weren’t in a relationship of any kind, but I liked him. A lot more than I thought possible after one night together. But I don’t really want to get involved with a pro athlete of any kind, let alone hockey. I just can’t imagine we’d be…compatible.
Memories of last night might beg to differ though.
I’m just so…sobummed. With Matt. With myself. Of course he’s a freaking hockey player.I slept with a hockey player. My stomach drops at the reminder.How could I do this?
I wish I had never gone to that bar. Does he even own it?
A prickle of unease crawls up my spine as I think about what else he could’ve lied about. People lie to get laid all the time. Then I rememberIpropositionedhimand want to slap my forehead with my palm. He also didn’t seem like a liar. I shake my head, desperate to clear this mess in my mind. I could find out if he was truthful about one thing…
Resolved to get at least one answer, I throw on some less sleep-ridden sweats and grab my jacket, beanie, and keys. I’m so singularly focused on my mission I don’t even remember the walk, but by the time I go to open the bar door, my hands are practically frozen solid. I do my best to curl them around the handle and pull it open.
“Sorry, we’re close—” Nate’s shout from the back is cut off when he glances up and makes eye contact with me. “Oh, hey.Uh, Eleanor, right?” Nate asks with surprise, glancing between me and the door.
Good memory. “Ellie.” I correct him on autopilot.
He nods and stands up straight from where he was crouched near some bin on the floor.
“Does he…” I clear my throat and try again. “Does he own this bar?” It comes out shakier than I wanted, but at least I asked what I came here to find out.
Nate’s expression shifts from apprehension to confusion. “Matt? Yeah, he co-owns it with me.”
Oh. Well, all right. I feel myself deflate, the initial shock and sting settling into something tamer. And without those things to focus on I find myself…embarrassed.What am I doing here?
“Okay, thanks.” I nod quickly and turn to leave.
“Hey, Ellie?” Nate’s voice stops me and I face back toward him. He’s looking at me with some unreadable expression. “Is everything okay?”
What am I supposed to say to that?Oh, yeah, everything is great. I just slept with your friend and am feeling unreasonably bothered that he withheld information I had no right to.I fight a physical cringe. I aim for a casual shrug instead. “Yeah, sorry about barging in here,” I tell him, my blush likely giving away my newfound shame.
I push the door open and walk out, desperate not to make more of a scene than I already have.
CHAPTER TEN
MATT
Morning skate went…lessthan ideal. First, I was late to the team meeting. Not a good look. Second, I practiced like shit. Notallthat concerning unless it translates to a bad game tonight, but still embarrassing to miss that many passes. I guess you could say I was distracted.
I can still picture Ellie’s face when I left this morning, void of the emotion she previously had let me see so easily. I try to remind myself it was just one night and this isn’t a big deal, but the thought rings false almost immediately. I scrub my face with my hands and lean back against my headrest, waiting for the heat to kick in enough for the steering wheel to not feel like the ice I just played on.
My phone buzzes on the passenger seat and I jolt upright, stupidly wondering if it could be her calling.You didn’t get her number, you dumbass.I see Nate’s name and sigh, grabbing it and answering. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Oh, nothing. Just wondering how it went with Ellie.” Nate’s tone holds amusement, but I’m too busy thinking about the situation with her to read into it.
“Pretty great actually, until this morning,” I tell him. “She found out I— Wait. How’d you know she goes by Ellie?”
“Ah, yeah. Well, that was actually why I was calling. She may have stopped by the bar earlier.”
I barely contain a groan. “Way to bury the fucking lead, you jackass. What happened? What did she say?”
“She, uh, seemed upset? She asked if you owned the bar. Honestly, I was pretty confused. I tried to ask if everything was okay, but she left in a hurry after I answered her.”Fuck. “So what happened?”
