‘And you don’t think that might have happened wherever she was?’ He checked the watch on his wrist, his eyebrows arching. ‘Christmas Day, without the people she loves the most? Without her child? It doesn’t get much worse.’
‘I suppose not.’ Tania shivered again, and Gull pulled the throw up and around her shoulders. ‘I had no idea she was feelingthislow. But maybe subconsciously I feared it. Perhaps that was why we brought her here in the first place, so that she wasn’t at home, alone. Rose and I both knew she was struggling. But maybe it was childish to think being in the mountains would make any real difference.’
‘It’s never the place, though, is it? It’s the people that matter.’ He pushed a strand of hair out of her face, the skin between his eyebrows wrinkling as he studied her.
She managed a thin smile. ‘We didn’t do a very good job of being the people that mattered, then, did we?’ Another wave of sadness crashed over her. After everything they had tried to do, it still hadn’t been enough.
‘I think you’re selling yourself short. She’s still here. And that’s down to you. There’s everything still to play for.’ He pulled the throw more tightly around her shoulders. ‘Listen, I’m no expert in this sort of thing. She needs some professional help, that much is clear. And she needs her friends. If she wants to find her way back from this, she’s going to need you more than ever before.’
‘I wanted to thank you before you go.’
‘For what?’
‘For saving Clara,’ she said. ‘It wasn’t me, it was you. If you hadn’t been there, I don’t think I could have got her back in time.’ She didn’t mention her own rescue from the icy stream, she hoped her gratitude about that went unsaid. She stood, ignoring the pain as she shuffled her feet into some fleece-lined boots and reached for an extra jumper.
‘Can I come with you?’ he asked. ‘Just to check on her before I go.’
She didn’t reply, instead she took his hand and led him from the room.
Chapter 40
CHRISTMAS DAY
They decided to take it in turns to stay with Clara for the rest of the night. The medic wanted to get her to a hospital. He spoke in fluent English about the treatment she should receive, the complications that could arise from exposure, the long-term effects. But Clara refused to go. The fact that she was coherent enough to argue the point had the medic frustrated, but with a flourish of arms and Gallic raising of eyebrows, he conceded. Told them to keep her warm and hydrated, that he would be back to check on her in the morning. Told them that they were all idiots for going outside to look for her. Told Tania she was lucky and would keep all her toes. Wished them aJoyeux Noëlwithout even a hint of irony and then left.
When it was Madeleine’s turn, she shuffled along the corridor and settled herself into the chair beside Clara’s bed, the lamp on the bedside table dimly illuminating the room. She listened to Clara’s rhythmical breathing for a while, studied the knots and grain in the wooden panels of the wall. She should allow Clara to rest, she supposed. They were all hanging with exhaustion, after all. But she wanted some answers.
‘Why did you do it?’ Madeleine said.
Clara’s eyelids fluttered open. She glanced in Madeleine’s direction, then stared at some point in the middle distance. ‘You heard Mike’s message. That’s why.’
Madeleine frowned. In the post-Clara-video panic to get outside and look for her, nobody had considered Mike’s voicemail to be of importance. ‘We didn’t listen to it, we were a bit busy having a full-on panic about you. Why? What’s in his message?’
‘Listen to it. Then you’ll understand.’
Madeleine frowned, reached for the phone, which lay on the table between them, and swiped the screen into life. ‘Are you sure you want me to?’ Nobody but Clara had listened to this message. Up until this point the contents of this message had been a private communication between husband and wife. Madeleine wasn’t sure she should be the first outsider to hear it. ‘Perhaps I should get Rose. Or Tania?’
Clara shook her head slowly. ‘I’d rather it was you, to be honest.’
She wanted to ask why, but the expression on Clara’s face dried the word up before she could say it. Whatever was in this message, it was clearly of enormous importance to Clara, and not just because it was a recording of Mike’s voice. There was more to it than that. She pressed the phone to her ear and listened.
Tell Mummy where we’re going.
To buy ellie babies.
Madeleine glanced at Clara, wondering how many times she’d listened to these voices since the accident. She could feel involuntary tears prick the back of her eyes at the sound of Poppy’s voice.
That’s right, Pops. Did you hear that, gorgeous lady? We’re going to buy jelly babies for our favourite person. Which ones does Mummy like best?
Onge ones. Mumma loves onge ones.
And which ones does Poppy like the best?
Green. My like green ones.
And do you think Mummy’s going to enjoy her bit of peace and quiet without us?
Madeleine glanced at Clara. Had Mike taken Poppy out because of something she’d said?
