“Until my body craves you. Then I will glow out of need again. A warning to others that I am unstable.” The rut is temporary, but the bond made is forever.
“I didn’t say that I was going to stop sleeping with you when we reach the others. Why would you think that?”
“Because you might want to choose one of them, and if we are sleeping together, they will assume we are mates and that you chose me.”
“Oh. Well, then tell them that.”
“You are asking me to lie to my brothers?”
“I am asking you to give me the time to…” she presses her lips together. “If I said I choose you now, you would only see it as me choosing you out of obligation.”
That is also true. “Yes.”
“Then where does that leave us? You want to be chosen, but will not believe me. And I do not want to lie to you.”
I scowl and lower my gaze, unable to look into her green eyes any longer.
“How do you even know that you like me? This rut is your body’s drive. What about your heart?”
I lift my gaze. “My heart? It still beats and is unaffected.”
She snorts with laughter. “For humans, falling in love involves the heart.”
“What happens to it?”
She frowns and sighs. “Nothing, it’s a saying. Do you fall in love, or is the bond your version?”
I do not know what she is talking about. “The bond binds the couple together. It is lesser for the woman. She will not risk death by walking away from it. Is love,” I use her word. “Different?”
How will this work when she is not bonded with me? Or does that not matter, because like any woman, she is free to leave if I am not good enough? I glance at the fire and the cooking meat. We have no shelter. But even if we spend the day walking, we would still have no shelter.
She considers me for several heartbeats. “Yes, love takes time to form instead of being instant from having sex. But it is a kind of bond.”
“And that is why you need time, to see if it will form with me because we are not the same?”
She lifts one eyebrow and I wonder if her whisperer is also struggling.
“I think it can form. I saw the way Sabine looked at Edilk.”
“I noticed that too. Do you think she’s chosen him?” He would not make the same mistake I did. “The love happened that fast?”
“No, that look was desire. It usually comes first. Love is deeper. You want the best for the other person and would do anything for them. Your body wants me…but you don’t love me.”
“I want you to survive and be happy.” But I think I’m starting to understand. “You are right though; we did not have time to establish if we will work as mates.”
“We are working together now as…warriors and friends, which means there is the opportunity for more.” Her fingers wrap around mine. “Are you okay with that for the moment?”
I need to shut my mouth and not mention choosing again. What if she meets the others and decides that she’d rather have one of them? Then I will need to deal with that. But I don’t think she will because she’s not asking for more options. And she already knows I will protect her and ensure her survival.
She is asking for time to know me as a man.
21
RUBY
Aldit ended up making a crude shelter by the lake because it bothers him that he can’t give me a blanket. He built up the fire nice and big and we feasted and drank water until we were almost too full to move. He took first watch, letting me sleep before waking me so I could take a turn. I insisted on taking a turn because that’s fair and I don’t want him to think that I need to be taken care of, or that I’m incapable. We are partners. A team.
We don’t leave at first light. Instead, we take our time. It’s almost as if now we have the river by our side. We are no longer in a rush. We will reach the boat and they will wait for us. Aldit seems at peace today, but that didn’t stop him from dragging me into bed as soon as he was awake. And I did not resist. I enjoy his attention and each time he fucks me, he is getting better or I am becoming more used to his massive cock.
