‘Love one,’ Mia says. There it is – olive branch extended and accepted. And they’ll be okay, Lissa thinks. Because of course they will.
‘Only one,’ Lissa says. ‘I’m picking Elsie up from town today.’
‘They’re finally loosening the reins, huh?’
‘Yeah.’ She opens the fridge, gets out a bottle of Sauvignon. ‘Though I suppose you can’t really blame them, all things considered.’
‘Suppose not, no,’ Mia concedes.
They sit on the sofa, Mia curling her legs underneath her. ‘So, I have something to tell you.’
‘Good,’ Lissa says, nodding. ‘Me too. But you first.’
Mia sets her wine down on the coffee table. ‘I think I’m going to do it. Go to New York.’
Lissa scans her cousin’s face. ‘For Lottie?’
Mia bites her lip. ‘Well, for me too, I guess. And for my parents. But yes, she’s a big part of it. I want to go, stay there for a few months. See if it could be anything real between us.’
Lissa reaches out to take her hand. ‘That’s brilliant, Mia.’
‘It is?’
‘Of course it is!’
Mia blows out a breath. ‘Okay. Okay, good.’ She pauses, biting her lip. ‘Maybe you could visit? Just for a weekend or something? It’s close enough for that, you know.’
Lissa nods slowly. ‘I’d love that. But …’
Mia pauses in the action of picking up her wine glass. ‘But?’
‘Well. I’m actually thinking of taking a little break from Bath myself.’
Lissa could swear that Mia’s jaw literally drops. ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’
‘No. Although I wouldloveto take a picture of your face right now.’ Mia snaps her mouth shut, and Lissa laughs. And God, it feels so good to be here with her cousin like this. ‘I quit my job.’
‘Youwhat?’
‘I know. And I think I’ve actually got a plan. I’ve been googling, and there’s this charity that runs camps for kids who’ve experienced loss. They’re looking for camp leaders, and I thought maybe I’d be okay at that.’
Mia’s eyes seem a little bright. ‘You’ll begreatat it, Bissa.’
Lissa isn’t sure, but she won’t know until she tries, will she? She can’t shake the memory of Rosy from the charity shop holding onto that bear to lay on her baby brother’s grave. Okay, being a camp leader isn’t going to change the world. But it’s something to help children like Rosy. And maybe, for now, something is enough.
She takes Mia’s hand in hers, squeezes. ‘I’m happy for you, you know, Mia. About Lottie. I’m going to miss you, but I really, really hope it works out the way you want it to. However that ends up looking.’
Mia pulls Lissa into another hug. When she breaks away, her gaze darts over Lissa’s face. ‘And what are you going to do about Ash?’
And just like that, she’s back there.
I love you. I just thought you should know that.
‘I don’t know,’ she murmurs. She needs to make a choice. She needs to either tell him how she feels, or walk away for ever. She finishes the rest of that thought out loud. ‘I just … How are you supposed to know if the choice you’re making is the right one?’
Mia smiles, brushes Lissa’s hair back from her face. ‘I don’t think we can ever know that. But for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing the right thing.’ Lissa frowns, and Mia shakes her head. ‘I just mean the moving abroad thing. I think focusing on yourself, doing something cool like that – it’ll be great for you, Bissa. And it’s a lot harder to do if you’re thinking of someone else too, isn’t it?’
Lissa nods slowly. But the truth is, she’s not sure what came first. Does she want to move abroad for herself? Or is she doing it to run away from him? It just feels so jumbled in her brain.
