Mia seems to sense her uncertainty. ‘Maybe if it’s meant to be for you and Ash, you’ll get another shot at it in the future, once you’ve had the chance to live a little first.’
Lissa smiles, because Mia has no idea just how many shots she and Ash have had. But she holds onto the last card from her reading. Temperance. Timing. So maybe her cousin is right – maybe one day the timing will be right for them.
‘So then I said to Jess …’ Elsie enters into a long and detailed story about a fight between a friendship group at school, and Lissa nods along, trying to follow – which is easier said than done given that there seems to be a new name introduced every couple of seconds. Still, it makes her smile that Elsie so willingly hands over details of her life now. The way to a teenager’s heart is definitely through giving them lifts. Possibly buying booze when they’re old enough, though she’ll cross that bridge when she comes to it.
‘Anyway,’ Elsie concludes, ‘Jess says she isn’t going to go to Kirsty’s party without me, so I guess we’ll see.’ She makes a sceptical face, one eyebrow crooking up.
Lissa laughs as she flicks the indicator to turn right. Elsie flushes and drops the eyebrow.
‘Too much?’ she asks. ‘This girl on the netball team can do it and I thought it looked cool.’
Lissa laughs again. ‘I love it.’ She pauses, then, ‘Chloe learnt to do it when she was little. Spent hours in front of the mirror practising, and it really wound me up because I couldn’t do it.’ It pops into her head, a snippet of a memory she hadn’t realised was there.
‘Really? That’s cool.’ Elsie looks out the window. ‘I wish I could have known her.’ Then she purses her lips, Lissa catching sight of it in the reflection. ‘Actually, though, that would never be possible, because if she hadn’t died I’d probably never have been born, right?’
‘Maybe,’ Lissa concedes. No way to know, is there? But Elsie is right to some degree – if their dad had never left to be with Nicole, Elsie wouldn’t have been born. So yes, she lost a sister. But she gained one too. And there’s something that feels full circle about that.
‘You still on the netball team then?’ she says, remembering the conversation all those months ago when Elsie claimed not to evenlikenetball.
‘Yeah. It’s okay. I think Mum cares about it more than I do. But they’ve been a bit better recently, letting me do stuff, so I figure I’ll keep doing it for her for now.’
Lissa nods slowly. ‘Well, as long as you’re notonlydoing it for her. I’m sure she’d understand if you quit.’
Elsie only shrugs. Lissa isn’t quite well versed enough in her sister’s shrug language to tell what it means yet.
She taps one finger on her steering wheel. ‘So look, there’s something I need to talk to you about.’
Elsie gives her an almost horrified look. ‘Donottell me Mum put the sex-talk crap onto you.’
‘What? No! Jesus. Although …’ Lissa frowns over at her. ‘Do youwantto have the sex talk?’
Elsie wrinkles her nose. ‘No. I’ll let you know when I do.’
‘Okay. Deal. In the meantime, though …’ Lissa fills her in on what she told Mia and her mum – that she’s planning on leaving the country for a bit to volunteer abroad.
Elsie contemplate this for a moment, then grins. ‘Reckon Mum and Dad would let me visit?’
Lissa finds herself grinning too. ‘I definitely think we can work on it.’
Elsie waves goodbye to Lissa when they reach her house. As Lissa is putting the car into reverse to turn around, Nicole comes out, in a long green skirt and blouse, and gestures for her to wait. Lissa winds her window down.
Nicole bends her head when she reaches the car. ‘Want to come in?’ she asks.
‘Sorry, I can’t. I’m meeting a friend for a drink.’ Darcy wants to hear all about her plans – and then, Lissa thinks, she’ll have told everyone and there will be no going back.
Well. Nearly everyone.
‘Another time, though,’ she promises.
Nicole nods, but stays where she is. She fiddles with a bracelet on her wrist – gold and expensive-looking. ‘I wanted to say thank you,’ she says, stopping her fiddling and meeting Lissa’s gaze.
‘Of course,’ Lissa says easily. ‘It’s not that far to drive.’
Nicole nods again. ‘I … It’s nice to see you hanging out.’ She hesitates, then drops her voice a fraction. ‘We never wanted to push it, because we didn’t want it to feel like Elsie was, I don’t know, a replacement.’ It’s a harsh word and they both wince.
‘I don’t think that,’ Lissa says carefully. She used to, though, she realises. Not directed at Elsie herself, more at her dad, but still. A replacement family.
‘Well, anyway,’ Nicole continues, ‘it’s sort of why I kept my distance a little. And watching you the last few months … I wanted to say sorry, for not trying harder.’
