‘Mm. I’ve been painting, trying to get it, you know, a bit more up to date.’ Lissa thinks of the paint samples she and Mia saw, smiles just a little. ‘I think,’ her mum continues slowly, ‘that maybe I’ve been here too long?’
‘I think that’s a nice idea,’ Lissa says gently. And then, feeling the need to tread carefully, she adds, ‘But you should do what feels right for you.’
‘I don’t think I’ll go far. I just … I think I need to try to … let go.’
Lissa feels her throat tighten a bit. ‘Yeah,’ she agrees. ‘Maybe.’
‘And if I change my mind,’ her mum goes on, sounding more upbeat now, ‘it’s not like house sales happen quickly, is it? Not from what I can remember, in any case.’ There’s a pause, then, ‘I’m glad you’re having this fresh start, Lissa.’ The Fool, in her first tarot reading. Starting out on a new life. Has she come to that point in her future? ‘I know I haven’t always been the best mother, but I do want you to be happy, you know.’
‘I know,’ Lissa says quietly, although she hasn’t known it, not until now.
When they hang up, Lissa takes a breath, squares her shoulders and finishes the last of her cookie. This is it. A choice, something different. And for the first time since that night in Cornwall, she feels she might finally be making the right one.
Chapter Thirty-One
Lissa presses her phone to her ear as she paces around the living room in her flat. The windows are open wide, and she can smell barbecue smoke from one of the neighbours’ gardens.
‘Enough,’ she says without preamble. ‘Enough, Mia. I hate this. I hate not talking to you. I miss you. I know you need some space from me, and I’ve tried to respect that, but we need to talk about it, okay? I’m leaving my flat in two minutes and I’m coming to Bristol. I think you might be on your way back from London, so I’m going to sit outside your place until you get home, and I thought I should warn you before I leave in case … Wait.’
She frowns in the direction of the front door, where someone is thumping. ‘That’s someone at the door. So I’m going to answer it, andthenI’m going to come to yours. If you really, really don’t want me to, then you’ve got about forty-five minutes to let me know. Okay?’
She hangs up as she stomps down her corridor, needing to keep up the momentum. But when she opens the door, she stares in shock. Because it is Mia. With her red hair and her freckles and wearing if not exactly the same, then a very similar pair of dungarees to the last time they saw each other.
Lissa holds up her phone. ‘I was just talking to you.’
Mia cocks her head. ‘Huh. You’d have thought I would have heard.’
‘Talking to your voicemail,’ Lissa corrects.
‘Ah.’
There is a beat of awkward quiet between them. Lissa clears her throat. ‘What are you …?’
Mia gestures vaguely in the air. ‘I’m here to kiss and make up. If you’ll let me.’
Lissa laughs a little. ‘Letyou? I was just calling you to warn you that I’m on my way to apologise.’
‘Trust you to warn someone about that.’ Then Mia sighs. ‘I suppose we think too similarly after all these years.’
Lissa snorts quietly at the suggestion. She doubts Mia would believe in past lives if they literally walked up to her and set fire to those dungarees. But right now, that’s not important. So she steps forward, wraps her arms around her cousin and breathes in her scent.
‘I’m sorry,’ she murmurs. ‘I’m so, so sorry. I should have said that weeks ago. And I should have known why you stuck around. I should have noticed what you were doing for me.’
‘I should have talked to you about it,’ Mia mumbles against her shoulder. ‘I shouldn’t have just assumed you knew how I was feeling without telling you.’ She breaks away, holds Lissa at arm’s length. ‘But enough with the shoulds, okay? Let’s think of what we could do in future instead.’
‘You know,’ Lissa says with a small smirk, ‘you sound a lot like the psychic I went to see.’
Mia wrinkles her noise. ‘Yeah. You never told me much about that.’
Lissa steps aside to let her into her flat. ‘I figured you wouldn’t want to know.’
‘Was it useful?’ Mia asks.
‘Yes. I actually think it was.’ Lissa glances at her. ‘Though apparently I’ve still got to make all my own choices.’
Mia sighs. ‘Damn. Sounds like a lot of effort.’
‘Well, quite. So, want a glass of wine?’ Lissa asks.
