Do not despair. Do not weep, for the Infinite Light is with you.
The Infinite Lightisyou.
Close your eyes and feel the world around you disappear, or keep your eyes open and gaze upon its beauty. It matters not. Notice your emotions as they swell in your belly, your thoughts as they race across your mind. Where do these come from? The delight and the pain. The anger and shame. Who gives rise to these? Could it be the squishy organ in your skull, creating a vibrant tapestry of your personality?
Very well.
But you will agree that theyouin question is much more than the culmination of neural impulses coursing through that squishy brain. After all, we all have fairly identical brains, yet we are all unique. What isyouthen?
Take one more step back. Yes, further still. What is the very thing that gave rise toyou? What is the very thing that ran and played and learned and cried beforeyouwere even aware that there was ayou?
Feel the walls of your mind expand into the infinite.
Fall into the vast nothingness.
It had always been there, this bottomless chasm. It had always been the very thing that gave rise toyou. To everything. It is the Infinite Light. In it, you will find every living thing and many that you mistake for nonliving. In it, you will find everyone you’ve ever known and everyone you will ever meet. And in it, you will find yourself. And in yourself, you will findit.
So, you understand now when I say that we do not return anyone to the One Beginning in the literal sense. We do not rejoin anyone with the Infinite Light, for no one has ever left it, and no one is ever lost from it.
There is room for tradition. There is room for ritual and practice, for it gives everyone a peace of mind, both at temple and the rest of the galaxy. Even you, dedicated to the Order, educated in our ways. Even you will find solace in the sutras and the mantras. Even you will benefit from sunrise and sunset prayers. For these build routines, these build community, and these bring the awareness of the Infinite Light to the forefront. And you can agree that this awareness is a wonderful feeling.
But always remember, this awareness changes nothing, for nothingcanbe changed. There will be birth, and there will be death, and both are illusions; you know this already. But whathappens in between isn’t. The life that happens in between these is the one thing you will have control over. You will meet people, and some of them will be kind, and some of them will not be. You can’t control that, but you can control how you respond. You can control how you respond to everything. You can control the decisions you make and the chances you take. You can decide to be kind and helpful.
Remember, the Infinite Light flows through every living thing: every animal, every plant, every person. Yes, even the not-so-nice ones. Go out there and make decisions knowing that you are never separate from the Whole. You are neverjustan individual. Sometimes you may experience the illusion that you are, and that’s OK, but don’t cling to it. Let it pass. Everything passes. Don’t take it too seriously. Even your jobs. Always choose kindness over precision. Remember that your vocation and your spiritual pursuits do not supersede another person’s suffering.
There is a saying that a good Vessel can perform their duties without ever dirtying their robes. I don’t dislike the saying, but it’s also misleading. It makes you think you are all to be rigid and prim and proper. It makes you think that a good Vessel keeps their distance. Don’t fall into that trap. You will never be able to maintain distance. There is no distance. How can there be when we are all parts of the Whole? Where is the distance between the drops of water in an ocean? [Mother Nova laughs.] Where is the distance between the rays of the sun? I dare you to try and find it. Or don’t—it doesn’t seem like a good use of your time. [Mother Nova laughs again.]
I think I’m rambling now. This is a good place to end our little talk. Go, have some lunch, please.
[End of recording]
10
Never leave the temple to me, Mother Nova. Never praise my studies nor my discipline. I fail at both and deserve neither.
You welcome me as though I am your child, as though I am this temple’s child, but I am neither and deserve neither. I aspire for nothing. I strive for no enlightenment.
I am a descendant of the void, empty and aimless, and in it, I find my meaning.
Additional materials, originally omitted from the diaries of Vessel
Iris collection, Volume Seventeen
There were many proper ways to prepare a body for burial. There were ways to preserve the flesh, to store it, to dress it, and beautify it before handing it off to the mourning family. But now, as Iris studied Riyu’s waxen face, they all seemed frivolous. In the second hour, Iris had decided that Riyu would remain here. He would leave her for the vines and the moss to claim, to retake into the larger ecosystem she had been so elated to study. Somehow, this surrender felt appropriate and one Riyu would have approved of.
Iris had now spent four hours muttering mantras over her cooling body in a pathetic attempt to calm himself enough to break the news to the others. Yan’s cigarette was still clutched in his hands, and he was picking at the wrapping paper like hewould pass the mala between his fingers in meditation. It was hand rolled and that made all the difference. Why, Iris refused to consider.
Behind him, the others whispered among themselves. Iris could make out Ishtan’s calming drone and Jesi’s sniffles against the gentle dripping of moisture. They were all frightened. They were all lost. If only Iris could admit that he too was lost and frightened, they could all share in their communal grief. But he didn’t have the luxury. Neither did Yan, who participated in the conversation around him sparingly, standing off to the side and sipping thin coffee from his thermos. He cast Iris long, anxious glances periodically, and Iris returned them sparingly. Then, just as the conversation began to die down, Yan said, “That’s it.Enough.”
Everyone looked up at him, and Iris pivoted just enough to watch.
“We now have two problems. We have someone actively hunting us”—Yan was still holding on to the theory that the two were separate—“and we have the ship’s ecosystem hunting us.” He shut the thermos forcefully. “I’m not in the mood to sit here and wallow and wait for either to end me. Earlier today, I found the brain that seems to be the most active. Whoever is watching us is probably there. I say we make our way to the brain and take the ship from them.”
“With what?” Jesi muttered lowly. “A busted torch?”
“With a gun,” Eli said and drew his pistol. “I’m not supposed to use this unless my clients are in immediate danger, and I suppose this qualifies.”
Yan gave him a nod. “Ordan must have also had a gun. Where did you pile all of his clothes?”
