I’m cooling down from a session when he walks in. He nods at my striking coach, who just finished holding pads for me, and gives me a curious eyebrow raise.
“What’s up, Nico? Why am I here?”
I jerk my head for my coach to follow us into the gym office. When I shut the door behind them, they’re both on alert.
“I’m done,” I announce. “My contract is up. I’m done fighting.”
Lucas and my coach look at each other, then look at me, then look at each other again.
“I feel like you should take this one,” my coach says.
Lucas fixes his full attention on me as he leans back in his chair and rubs a hand over his mouth.
“Is this because of Scarlett?”
My coach makes a silentohhsound and leans back in his own chair.
“Yes and no,” I answer honestly. “Yes, because she triggered the realization, but no, it’s notbecauseof her.”
“Okay, then… Walk me through it, little brother.”
I let out a heavy exhale and collapse on the office couch. “My heart’s not in it, Lucas. It hasn’t been for a while. I fell into this shit, and I’ve been doing everything physically possible to get as good as I possibly can, but none of that changes the fact that Ifellinto this career.” I look at my coach. “I’ll never make the Top Ten. You know it, I know it— It’s not a self-deprecating thing; it's just the God’s honest truth. And I have no interest in making it to the top, either. All I wanted, all Ieverwanted, was to see how far I could take this thing. And now that I have my answer, I’m ready to be done.”
Coach lets out a chuckle, but it doesn’t sound like he’s laughing at me. He almost looks fond as he says, “Only you could make it to the highest level of fightingjust for fun.”
My shrug is stiff. “Sorry. It felt like a waste notto try.”
He stands, smiling, and claps me on the back. “Nothing to apologize for, son. Our hearts want what they want, and there’s no shame in that. You never needed my blessing, but if you’re done, I’ll support you.”
I give him a grateful smile. “I appreciate you, Coach.”
He pats me on the back again before walking off with a casual, “When you start looking for your next job, keep in mind, I could always use a business partner. Just saying.”
Yeah, that had occurred to me. Retiring doesn’t only mean not fighting, it also means I need a new income stream.
“So, explain to me how Scarlett plays into this,” Lucas says, interrupting my thoughts. “You haven’t heard from her?”
I shake my head miserably. I texted her a few times, simple messages that stressed how much I love her and how sorry I am about everything. But she has yet to respond.
Maybe I’m being delusional about earning her forgiveness. After all, she was locked down so tight the last time I saw her, I truly couldn’t get a read on her when she kicked me out.
Lucas’s tone is careful when he says, “I’m going to ask you something, but I don’t want you to be angry with me for asking it.”
My brow furrows in confusion, but I nod.
“If Scarlett doesn’t take you back, if you never see her again…do you still want to retire? Because it kinda sounds like you want to quit fighting so you can have more time to spend with a woman who isn’t yours.”
My head falls back against the wall with a tired exhale. I haven’t wanted to think about a scenario where I don’t get Scarlett back, but Lucas’s question is valid. It’s why I called him and not just my coaches.
I take a minute to envision a future without Scarlett. It sucks, but I force myself to consider what it would look like. Do I still want to fight? Do I still want to kill myself for the joy of getting in the cage and potentially climbing the rankings? Would I still have the heart for it?
No.
The answer comes so quickly that relief floods my body. I was about eighty percent certain of my decision when I called Lucas in, but being asked the question so bluntly and having the answer come so quickly is a relief in itself.
“I would still want to retire,” I tell Lucas, lifting my head to meet his eyes. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
He studies me for about two seconds. Then he nods and says, “That’s all I needed to hear. When I get the call for contract renewal negotiations, I’ll tell them you’re done.”
