“Hey,” I whispered.
He didn’t move.
“Connor.”
He sighed and rolled onto his back, not looking at me but at least opening his eyes and acknowledging me. I took that as my sign to continue.
“I shouldn’t have insinuated what I did. I truly never thought you’d betray me that way. It’s not funny to even joke about it, and for that, I’m sorry. You chose Petra over me, often, and it hurt, and in a way, that felt like an emotional betrayal. Things you used to talk to me about were replaced by her. I used to help you choose your outfits for events, then she started doing it. I used to go out and celebrate with you when you scored a deal. Now it’s you and her. I know you’d never cheat on me, but the resentment that built up with feeling replaced caused me to say that.”
He pinched his nose, breathing deeply before he rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his hand. His deep gray eyes looked so sad. “Why didn’t you say anything to me sooner?”
“I’d try, but you wouldn’t hear me.” I swallowed as another wave of tears hit me. “I asked if you wanted to try on outfits with me, and you’d say you already had spares at the office. I once drove to your office—did you know? It was last year. I wanted to surprise you, and Petra told me you were on a critical call and to try later.”
Even in the dim light, he paled. “What the fuck?”
“I called you, to tell you what she said, but you didn’t even let me talk. You answered the phone withcan’t talk, love you. So I went home.”
“Laney. My God.” He sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees, letting his head hang. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why wait until now?”
“Because I knew it’d upset you. Because I kept hoping it was a fluke. Because… it’s hard to tell someone you love that you’re hurt. It’s easier to not talk about it. I’d find a million excuses, but now I wish I had told you.”
“Can I hold you, just for a second? You’re breaking my heart right now, and I just need you.”
Tears sprung in my eyes as I nodded. He crawled toward me and then pulled me up into his chest. He tucked my head into his shoulder, squeezing so hard I had to tap his side.
“Need to breathe.”
“Sorry.” He rested his chin on my head as he sighed. “For everything.”
“I know, Connor.”
We remained like that, cuddled together in front of the fire, all the unsaid words lingering in the air.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
But it wasn’t enough.
We drifted off to sleep.
I woke up with my entire body on Connor. For one second, I forgot reality and smiled at how warm and snuggly he was. I loved the sleepy man scent he had from a night of cuddling, and I inhaled, taking in everything. The crackle of the electricfire, the coolness of the air around my face, the way he gripped me even while sleeping. Last night was big.
I had said things that had weighed on my chest for months, and I survived it. Connor’s question remained though—why didn’t I say anything sooner? It shifted my mindset a little. Was our divide truly all his fault? The thought of me being part of the problem caused my pulse to race, and I squirmed, needing to get some air.
“Hmm, I like your body on me, baby.” Connor groaned into my neck, his warm lips pressing the spot beneath my ear. “Fuck, how do you always smell so good?”
“What… what are you—” I whimpered when he took my earlobe between his teeth and tugged. I usually loved when he did that.
“Connor.” There was more urgency to my tone.
He froze.
“Fuck, fuck.” He almost threw me off him. “Laney, I’m sorry. I was dreaming, I think. I—” He blinked and ran his hands through his hair. “I shouldn’t’ve kissed you there.”
My face flushed as heat spread through my core. “Hey, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. You asked me not to touch you, and I maul you in my sleep.” He stood, and I saw his erection pressed against his gray sweatpants.
