The delicate way he undid my dress, how he kept wanting to take care of me. Even though he thought he hid his emotions, he was hurting.
“I found a couple pairs of wool socks.” He returned to the fireplace, dressed in sweats and a hoodie from a diner we had found on our third anniversary together. “I also brought you some pants because it’s cold. We can roll up the bottoms.”
My throat clogged. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He sniffed as his phone went off. He tensed, his eyes widening at me. “I don’t know who’d be calling me right now.”
“Probably Petra,” I said, not quite able to hide my disdain. She called him at all hours of the night without hesitation, as ifit weren’t rude or inappropriate. “Take it. I’ll find blankets and make a little nest.”
“I can talk to her tomorrow.”
“It’s fine.” I waved a hand in the air and picked up his sweats. I slid them on quickly. They were way too baggy, but I rolled the waistband three times, and it made them decent. “Seriously, just see what she wants. You would any other night. Tonight isn’t different.”
“It is fucking different.”
I snapped my gaze to him at his tone. The flames caused dark shadows to dance over his face. He seemed wild, untamed. I loved seeing Connor lose control, where the adventurous soul I loved came out from the hard shell. It was wrong, but I wanted to push him. He’d made me feel all sorts of things tonight, so maybe I wanted to unleash his feelings.
“How so? How is it different, Connor? She calls, you answer. Doesn’t matter what we’re doing. You always make sure to be there for Petra.”
His jaw tightened, and his eyes went wide. “Are you insinuating something, Laney?”
I laughed, but it was untamed. “You tell me.”
His nostrils flared as he stepped closer to me. “Say it. Say what you’re thinking.”
“Have you…” I lost my confidence as his gaze darkened. Frustration rolled off him in waves while a muscle in his cheek twitched. “Connor, it’s fine. Just—”
His phone buzzed again.
We both glanced at his phone on the couch and then back at each other. Our chests heaved as Connor ran a hand over his jaw, his gaze a cloudy storm.
“Do you want me to fire her?”
“What?”
“Do you. Want me. To fire. Petra?”
I blinked. That was not anything I had expected.
“Uh, I don’t… know.”
“I’ll do it in a heartbeat. If you think for one goddamn second that I would ever touch, look, or think about another woman, then I don’t know if we have anything to save.”
My stomach bottomed out, the floor beneath me shifting. I grabbed the side of the recliner for balance as he blinked slowly, and when he opened his eyes, they watered.
“I’m gonna try to sleep.”
“Connor—”
“I can’t right now, Laney. I can’t.” He shook his head, his voice rough. He left his phone on the couch and marched toward our storage closet.
“Look through my phone. I don’t care. If that’s part of your reason for leaving me… There’s… I would rather die than do that to you.”
His words cut me in the worst way. I yanked a pillow and two blankets off the couch, curling up near the fire as sobs threatened to overtake me. I hated feeling bad about this. I hurt him because I wanted him to lose control.
It wasn’t right or fair or mature. I just… I loved pushing him to share his actual feelings, and not be the closed-off man he had to be for everyone else. The world saw the CEO Connor, but not me. I missed my Connor. But the agony in his words bothered me.
He joined me a few minutes later, leaving plenty of distance between us. He had never known how to argue. He neverlearned. We had to learn it together, and since I had emotionally healthy parents who bickered all the time, I knew how to argue. But tonight I’d done a shitty thing. I’d hurt him on purpose. Hurt people hurt people, my mom always said, and that wasn’t me.
