I could watch her sleep for hours.I could watch her do just about anything for hours.And if I don’t move, I’ll end up doing just that.
I almost wish someone would catch me as I slip out of her bedroom, closing the door slowly and almost silently.Because I’m a thief and I’m about to become a lot worse.
But the apartment is cold and silent and still mostly dark.The floorboards hardly creak as I walk to the front door.
I check through the peephole, expecting someone to be posted outside.But they must’ve not noticed my absence.
With every piece of luck I encounter, I know there’s worse ruin waiting for me in the future.I’m protected by my curse, just as surely as I’ll be destroyed by it in the end.
As will Goldie.
There’s no hope for her anymore, just as there never was for me.
I hope she enjoyed last night as much as I did.Because from here on out, she won’t enjoy anything.
I step out into the hallway, close the door softly and lean against the marble wall, willing its hard coolness to destroy what’s left of the heat inside me.
“Where were you?”Rafaelle’s voice floats to me from around the corner.A moment later I see him.
I don’t have a lot of time to decide how to answer that question.Practically none at all.
“I had to stretch my legs, so I walked to the stairwell and climbed a few floors,” I tell him, the lie rolling out of my mouth so smoothly it might as well be the truth.“I was cramping up like crazy.”
“You don’t leave your post for anything.I thought that much was clear.”
There’s always darkness in Raffaelle’s face, the man never smiles, his features never soften.Except sometimes when Lidia is around and he thinks no one’s watching.He likes her.And that’s all I’ve been able to figure out about him so far.
“It’s clear,” I say.“And the women would like to go to the seaside again later today.I think you should take them.”
“They told you that, did they?”He’s looking at me like he thinks I’m full of shit.Which I am.
“Yes, Lidia mentioned it,” I say.“Something about this being the end of summer and she wants to say her goodbyes.”
It sounds like something Lidia would say, she’s always talking in that bookish way.And as his face softens just a little, I know I’ve said the right thing.
“They’ll ask you to take them, I’m sure,” I say and lean back against the wall like I couldn’t care less about this conversation.
But I’ve just found a way to separate the men and the women of this family like Angelo wanted.And found a way to get the women away from here when the attack comes.Angelo might’ve decided not to kill them, but anything can happen when bullets start flying.And from his perspective, he is better off just killing them all, I can’t deny that.
Now I just have to figure out a way to get Goldie and the rest to actually make the trip to the seaside happen.
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Rafaelle says and turns.“Don’t leave your post again.”
“Understood.”
I say the last to his back because he’s already walking away.
I will the coldness of the marble I’m leaning against to penetrate more than just my skin.I want it to make me numb again, make my thoughts cold and cruel like they were before Goldie burst into my life.But I’m not sure I’ll ever find the way back tothat guynow.It took me a long time to get there in the first place.Because my first instinct has never been to hurt or kill.And if Angelo knew that, he’d probably kill me sooner than take me into his confidences.
So I better start acting like the man he needs me to be.And quit wasting time pining for something I’ll never have again.Because even though I already have Goldie, I’ll never have the one sleeping in her bed right now.
But I will have the means to avenge my family.She’s just another price I will have to pay to honor my father’s dying wish.
* * *
I letsome time pass after Rafaelle disappears from the hallway.Time I spend willing myself to not care about any of these people that are about to experience everything my family experienced and worse.But no amount of telling myself that it’s necessary, that it’s their turn, that it’s my turn to get my revenge is doing much to make my blood run cold again.
Eventually I sneak back to Goldie’s bedroom.Use one of the many glittering pens on her desk to write a note.
