Chapter 24
BLAIR
I’d dreamed of the sight before me too many times to count.
It was never my intention to keep Tate from his son. I just hadn’t been able to find the man. And even after I’d discovered who he was, I never considered not telling him about Nicholas.
I just wished there was a way for Nicholas to experience the gift of his father without causing turmoil in Taylor’s life. Tate shouldn’t have to trade one child for another. I’d never forgive myself if all the effort Taylor and Tate had put into their relationship was erased by this revelation. I’d also never understand how fate could’ve allowed this to happen in the first place.
When Tate stood from where he’d been playing with Nicholas on the floor, I looked away, not wanting him to see how transfixed I’d been. The father clearly still had a hold on me, not just the son.
“Thank you for letting me spend time with him,” he said as he returned to the kitchen.
“Of course. I’d never keep you away.”
Tate drew in a breath. “I’m gonna get moving on finding a place out of town where we can meet without worrying.”
“Okay.” I let out a shaky breath.
The idea of going to meet Tate at some hideaway gave me mixed feelings. I knew this was about Nicholas, not Tate and me, but it was sometimes hard to separate my memories from the present.
Tate looked back over at Nicholas, shaking his head. “I can’t believe Taylor has babysat him and everything…”
I smiled. “Nicholas loves Uncle Taylor. Taylor has been one of the only males in his life, aside from my dad. He’s been supportive since the very beginning when I found out about the pregnancy.”
Tate closed his eyes a moment. “That’s so beautiful and so fucked up.”
“What made you come by today?” I asked.
“It was mostly Taylor not being in town. Knowing he’s coming back from his honeymoon soon really lit a fire under my ass. But also…” He hesitated. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the wedding, even if that’s wrong.” He sighed, looking over at Nicholas. “And now I have even more reason to be careful with you.”
Talk about a mixed message. Was he trying to tell me he still had feelings for me, or that he had no intention of crossing the line?
“The moment I realized you were Taylor’s father, I closed the door on any hope I might’ve had for us.” I scoffed. “Besides, don’t you have a girlfriend?”
Tate turned to me. “Want the truth?”
“Always.”
“Leah knows something is up with me. I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything—her or otherwise—since the wedding. And that wasbeforeI knew about my son. She probably thinks I’m cheating on her, since I keep canceling our plans, making excuses. I haven’t told her anything.” He exhaled. “But things aren’t looking good for her and me right now.”
“Well, I’m sorry if I disrupted your life.”
He shook his head. “I would never change this outcome. If Taylor wasn’t my son and you weren’t at his wedding, I’d never have known about Nicholas. The idea of never knowing I had another son breaks my heart.” Torment filled his eyes. “I can’t go back and change those years when Taylor was growing up. But Nicholas is still young enough that he won’t remember the time I wasn’t around.” He took a moment to breathe. “That’s why Taylor’s gonna have to find out, Blair. I can’t be Nicholas’s dad in secret. He deserves a hundred percent.” He paused, looking pensive. “But I need to strengthen my relationship with Taylor a bit more before we throw this on him. He and I just made it to the top of a mountain after a long and arduous journey. Telling him now would be like pushing him down.”
I nodded. Nothing wrong with having a little more time before what would be the most difficult conversation of my life. “There’s nothing that matters more to me right now than protecting my friend. I know Nicholas will be fine.We’vebeen fine all this time.”
Tate turned to look into my eyes. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For taking care of him when I couldn’t. For givingup your life to do so. For being the amazing mother you shouldn’t have had to be so young.”
“I might not have been ready for him, but I’m so glad he was born. This is a fucked-up situation, but it’s nothisfault. He’s my greatest blessing.”
Tate’s eyes glistened. “I have so many questions about these past four years, but I’m having a hard time knowing where to start.”
I shrugged. “Well, I’m not going anywhere, if you think of them.”
