She paused. “I haven’tbeenwith anyone else. So there’s no way he could be anyone’s but yours.”
My eyes widened. “You weren’t with anyone else around that time…or you haven’t been with anyonesinceme?”
Blair murmured, “Both.”
Oh my God.That wrecked me.
“But I would still like you to get a paternity test, just soyouhave it on record,” she continued. “It would make me feel better to know you have that certainty.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Uh… I’ll go to a lab.” I paused. “Anything you need. I’m not trying to make your life more difficult.”
“I don’t need anything from you, Tate. I’ve been doing just—”
“I know you don’tneedme. You’ve clearly been handling everything. But I want to be in his life, Blair. And I want to help you financially.”
“I don’t need it,” she insisted.
“It’s not up for debate,” I pushed back. “Now that I know about my son, I’m not going anywhere. I want to take care of him, even if I have to do it discreetly for a while.”
“How long is a while? Do you think there’s still a chance we may never tell Taylor?”
The idea of keeping a secret so monumental seemed impossible. But this knowledge could destroy any shred of faith in me he’d mustered. “Moving back to Massachusetts was supposed to be about rebuilding my relationship with him. I can’t tell you how things are going to play out, except to say that I do believe we need to tell him.”
“I know Taylor. The truth would traumatize him,” she reasoned.
Immediately, a vision sprang to mind—Taylor accusing me of preying on Blair, of not being responsible, of abandoning a second child. I prayed the answers would come to me, but right now, I needed to focus on what I could more easily control.
“When can I come back to visit Nicholas?” I asked her.
The kitchen overlooked the living room, where he was still playing. She looked toward him. “I don’t know if you should ever come backhere.”
My heart sank until I realized what she was getting at. “This house, you mean.”
She nodded. “Taylor could come by on his commute from work. He’s been known to do that. I’m not far from his job. He has to pass my exit to get home.”
“Okay. Of course.” I scratched my chin. “I’ll figure something out. Maybe I’ll rent a place where we can meet, some place farther out of town.”
After a moment, she nodded. “That would work.”
Her agreement brought me relief. At least I could see Nicholas while navigating the rest of this mess. “I think weneed to keep this to ourselves for a while,” I said. “I don’t just mean Taylor. I mean other family members, too.”
“I haven’t told anyone, Tate. I can’t imagine explaining the situation.”
“I haven’t told anyone about us, either,” I said. “I don’t think we can risk it until Taylor knows. He deserves to be the first.”
“I agree.”
I moved back toward the living room. “Can I spend some time with him before I have to leave?”
She smiled sadly. “Of course.”
“Thanks.”
I walked over to where Nicholas was playing. Overwhelmed by a mix of love and sadness over everything I’d missed the past four years, I got down on the ground and helped him finish building a structure with his blocks. One block at a time.One step at a time, I told myself. It’s not going to be okay overnight, but someday itwillbe okay.
“What about this one?” I asked him. “Can I put it on top?”
He nodded enthusiastically. His huge eyes felt like a window into my soul. Such a beautiful boy.Myboy. One who would’ve been fatherless if the original story had been true. Despite everything, I was grateful the situation had played out the way it did. I just needed to figure out how to openly love this son without shattering the other.
