You’re a fucking liar and you know it.
I kicked the box, sending it somewhere in the apartment, but it didn’t ease any of the pain in my chest. My breathing was erratic, my lungs refusing to catch despite how many breaths I was taking.
Because if I was wrong? If I was wrong, I deserved to fucking die. There was no salvation great enough to save what I’d done.
And the thing I didn’t want to admit to myself?
I was wrong.
I knew the moment Thorne surrendered because… because he wouldn’t have if he didn’t care so deeply.
A sob tore through me, my hand reaching out to catch the edge of the couch, but I missed, collapsing to the ground like the piece of shit I was.
My fist slammed into the floor, tears plopping to the ground like a river that didn’t stop. “You’re a fucking coward.”
When my knuckles didn’t provide the pain I wanted, I rammed my head into the ground, a guttural cry escaping me.
Again.
What the fuck had I done?
Again.
What was wrong with me?
And again.
Bringing my head upward to bash it once more, I didn’t have the strength to try again as I collapsed to the ground. Curling into a ball, I sobbed.
I didn’t deserve to live. I didn’t deserve to die.
I deserved torture for the rest of my pathetic, goddamn life, but even that would never make up for the shit I’d done.
And Matthew? The way he’d looked at me?
I deserved his disgust. I deserved the truth he spewed at me. Honestly? He had every right to kill me.
And Simon? Liam?
They deserved a better friend than me.
As that goddamn clockstillcontinued to tick, the sound of my fists punching Thorne clanged with each beat. It was a tempo of my horrors and mistakes that wereneverredeemable, and with it, I decided that the only way to redeem myself was to die.
Through my panic, the drum of knuckles sounded on the door. It was a steady rhythm, one that hinted at someone with a refined nature, someone who undoubtedly reported to me now that I was acommander.
I tucked my chin to my chest, my arm draping over my head. “G-Go away!”Pathetic.
Then the voice, the voice I wasn’t prepared to hear, slipped through the crack—Thorne. “Open the fucking door, Valens. Or I’ll kick it down.”
I covered my ears, a foolish sob leaving me. How cruel for my mind to play tricks?
“Oren!” he shouted, this time far louder, far more…panicked. Silence lingered, and then his timbre shattered, “Dove,please, open the door.”
Rendered useless, I tucked my knees to my chest as that stupid nickname flooded through me. I shook my head, another wail escaping into the bitter darkness. It would be like my mind to fuck me over.
“Fuck.” The single curse came first, followed by a sharp crack.
And another.
