Several men snickered.
I snorted a laugh even as Xae growled again.
Pointing at Dreven, I narrowed my eyes. “First of all.” I paused to grin. “Thank you for calling me hot. And you're very handsome as well. Second, we're not talking about sex. I have to fall in love with you fuckers or this won't work. And how the fuck am I going to fall in love with someone when I already love two men, and I know all of you are only interested in me to get an upgrade on your power? Huh?” I looked around the room, meeting their stares boldly, and several men, including Dreven, looked away. “I don't blame any of you for thinking this should be easy for me. I get it. I keep arguing with myself about it. Kicking my own ass. You're all incredible men. The Goddess herself has declared it. It shouldn't be so difficult for me to choose some of you to love. But my heart doesn't automatically follow my cock.”
I paused as several Lords chuckled.
“Most of you know that.” I waved at the grinning men. “You're being really fucking understanding and patient with me, and I want you to know that I appreciate that. And I know this isn't easy on any of you either. Starting something with me means a sacrifice for most of you. Even if you want to be with me, you'll have to learn to share. Nothing's guaranteed either. We could try to have a relationship and fail. Or the magic might not behave as expected. This is all unprecedented. None of us know how it will work, not even me. I know how daunting that must be. So much depends on this. Every failed relationship will be more than a heartbreak for us. For all of us, not just that particular Wraith Lord and me. And you've already sacrificed so much, given everything you have to this war, that my issues look minor. Ridiculous, even. I don't blame those of you who have grown impatient with me. Dreven, I'm talking to you.”
The Wraith Lords burst into laughter as Dreven ducked his head and grinned. Those sitting beside him smacked him on the shoulders.
“I get it,” I went on. “So, know that I'm trying my best. The heart is hard to reason with and magic can be unpredictable. But I'm trying. Please, be a little more patient with me.” I waited a heartbeat and added, “If I could simply have an orgy with all who were willing and be done with it, I would.”
That earned me a round of laughter and several raunchy comments, including suggestions on how to conduct said orgy.
When the hooting and hollering died down, General Ranor said, “Thank you, Ember.” Then he looked over at Lord Dreven. “Now don't you feel like a dick, Drev?”
“Yeah, all right. I'm a dick. Let's move on,” Dreven said.
“Not like it's a revelation,” someone called out.
“Fuck you, Sern!” Dreven called back.
“Enough,” Ranor said. “We know about the dead immortals and that the Emperor is doing all he can. After hearing about the success that was had with Fire, I think every team sent out should have either a Varraen or a Tytra in it. I'll visit the Emperor later to request that he adjust the summoning crystal. Till then, if you get summoned, be sure you have a Fire user on your team. If not, take one with you.” He looked around. “Dismissed!”
The Wraith Lords got up and left the dining hall. My men and I hung back, and Keltyr joined us.
“I'm sorry I brought you guys up,” Kel said. “I didn't expect Dreven to jump down your throat like that.”
“No, it's all right. You meant well,” I said. “And it felt good to get all that out in the open.”
Keltyr sighed, then said, “So, the Emperor's as flummoxed as we are.”
“He had an idea, but wouldn't tell us what it was. He just ran off to speak with his mages.”
“Hopefully something good will come of it,” Rath said.
“Well, shall we return to our game?” I asked.
The men agreed, and we headed out of the dining hall, then down a corridor to the common room where we'd been playing cards. Jath was in one corner, talking to a few men, but when he saw us come in, he made an excuse and left. He didn't even glance at me as he walked by. I tried to hide how much that annoyed me, but when I sat down at our table (our game as we left it), I caught Keltyr looking at me strangely. I smiled at him, and he grinned back, but I could tell he wasn't convinced.
Recalling Dreven's words, I nearly let out a growl of irritation. It was hard enough to fall in love with someone new without someone else toying with me. What made it worse was I didn't think Jath meant to do it. He was just . . . broken. I wanted to help him, but I was the one man who couldn't. All I could do was focus on my own shit and hope he fixed himself.
I picked up my cards and focused.
Chapter Thirty-Five
A week later, I returned from yet another mission and went up to our suite with my lovers. We'd been going out at least every other day, and with hundreds of Wraith Lords in the citadel, that said something. At this rate, the Corrupter would run out of corpses. We went into the dressing room and got out of our armor. Rath and Xae stripped and headed to the bathroom, but I didn't.
“Ember?” Rath paused in the dressing room doorway.
“I need some air,” I whispered.
“I'll go with you,” Xae offered and stepped back into the dressing room.
My stare stopped him in his tracks.
“Come on, let's get cleaned up.” Rath laid a hand on Xae's shoulder and urged him toward the door. “He'll be back by the time you're out of the shower.”
