“It let up enough that I thought it was going to stop. That's when we left. Then I was proved wrong.”
“I see. Come here. Sit down beside me and tell me what you've learned today.”
I went to sit beside him.
“Closer, Misha.”
I moved closer. As I did, a strange feeling overcame me. I had felt excitement, lust, and fear in Niko's presence, but no matter what, I had always desired him. Even in the grip of the most debilitating fear, I had wanted the Swan King.
I didn't want him anymore.
I looked upon my king and lover and felt only regret. A sourness that I had given myself to a stranger. That I had obeyed his every command not just out of loyalty but also out of desire. No matter what he did to me, Nikolay could always make me come. It was the one gift that had kept me sane, and it helped me believe the lie that I had some control over what was happening to me. But Konstantin had opened my eyes and now there was no going back.
“Misha?”
I cleared my throat. “There's nothing to tell, Your Majesty. We haven't discovered anything new.”
“Nothing?” He stroked my hair.
I had to bite my cheek to keep from pulling away.
“Well, if you've nothing to report, I suppose we should move on to the rest of our evening. Take off your clothes.”
“Your Majesty, I'm still tired from last night and the long wait at the Swan's Beak. Could we—”
Nikolay shot to his feet, dragging me with him, and roared, “Take off your clothes!”
My breath caught as my heart dove into my rolling stomach. All that courage? It nearly vanished. But then I remembered that I wasn't the old Mikhail anymore.
“I don't want to,” I said.
“Excuse me?” The King didn't say those words as I had. He put far more power into them. The kind of power that drove men to their knees.
“Are you going to force me into your bed, Niko?” My words held no power. An utter lack of it, in fact. And weariness. But I spoke them, at least there was that.
Nikolay's breath broke, becoming a rough panting as he stared at me. “You would deny me?”
“I don't want to have sex with you tonight. I'm tired, and I want to sleep in my own bed. If you love me as you say you do, you won't demand this of me.”
“The love of a king is different from that of other men, Misha. I can be generous, you know that, but as my consort, it is your duty to submit to me in every way, whenever I command it. That is your prime purpose in my court. So denying me is unacceptable. It has nothing to do with love.”
“Nothing to do with love,” I murmured as a chill began to spread inside me. “Yes, that about sums it up.” I started walking away.
“Where are you going?”
“To your bed, Your Majesty. Where what we do together will have nothing to do with love.”
It felt as if the cold from the storm had found its way into my chest. I told Konstantin that I could deny the King and had before, but I had only protested little things. Things I didn't want other men to do to me. I had never tried to deny Nikolay sex. And now I knew that I never could. A part of me had thought that Niko would cave when I challenged his vow of love. But, as always, the Swan King found a way to wriggle around restrictions and get what he wanted.
I stripped as I walked, leaving my clothes on the floor. Unlike the way I'd tossed them to the floor of Konstantin's tent, this was an apathetic release, my hands opening listlessly. When I reached the bed, I didn't climb onto it. Instead, I bent over the foot, just as Timur had wanted me to do. Just as Pyotr had when Niko had punished me. I spread my legs and laid my cheek on the comforter, then waited.
“So dramatic,” Niko said as he joined me.
He moved my hair to the side and drew his palm down the length of my back, but my cock didn't stir for him. Not that he noticed. He was too busy entertaining himself with light smacks to my ass and the inside of my thighs, making me spread them wider. Then he walked away.
I didn't dare to hope that he'd changed his mind. I knew him too well. And sure enough, Nikolay had only left to go to the bedside table and fetch the bottle of lubricant. The slick sound of him coating himself set my teeth on edge. I closed my eyes and thought of Konstantin.
As the Larch King entered me, I imagined it was my real lover. His cock wasn't up to the task, falling short both literally and figuratively of my tiger-shifter's shaft, but I kept my focus on Kon. His smile. His adoring hands. His strength, even when he pleasured me. His passionate words. The King started his sex talk, using nasty terms to describe my body and how I received his, but I tuned him out and, finally, was able to summon a response for my king.
