He gave me a breathtaking, almost startled smile, then turned away to get up.
I watched him go into his bathroom and got up myself.
It didn’t hit me until I was in the shower in my bathroom a moment later that I was smiling.
* * * *
As we sat eating breakfast downstairs, I pressed my foot against River’s like I’d remembered us doing in the library back in the day.
He beamed at me and blushed ever so slightly, and I wondered if this was what people meant when they felt like they had a crush on someone.
Because I thought I maybe understood it now. Even if I didn’t want to do physical things with River at the moment, I wanted to have him close and make him happy. He was the first person I wanted to tell anything interesting or new I came across, just like he’d been when we were fourteen.
I blinked a couple of times when the thought ran through my brain. Had my feelings for him been only friendly back then, or something else? Something more?
I didn’t really have anyone to compare him to, because I hadn’t had other real friends. Well, my cousin of course, but that was different; Henry had been family, which meant he had to hang out with me whether he liked it or not.
“Ben?” Lake asked, and I snapped my attention to him.
“Yeah?”
“I said we’re about done, right?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, we are.”
Rey got to his feet and took his and River’s dishes into the kitchen.
“That means you have limited time left here,” River’s tone was sad.
“But I’ll come back,” I reminded him.
He gave me a tiny smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah.”
“My plane tickets are for the day after tomorrow, because I didn’t want to fly after a workday tomorrow.”
Lake put his knife and fork neatly on his plate. “Makes sense. Even if it’s not a long flight, traveling sucks when you’re already tired.”
“Yeah it really does. I have some sensory issues so…” I shrugged.
“You have noise canceling headphones, right?” River asked, sounding worried.
I smiled. “Two different pairs. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” He glanced at the time on his phone and got to his feet. “Well, I got to get ready and leave. I’ll see you tonight?”
His tone was hopeful, and I nodded a bit too eagerly. I wanted to hug him again maybe, but felt shy because Lake was right there. And Rey, but he was puttering around in the kitchen.
“Yeah, maybe we can watch another movie?” I peered up at him, trying to keep my butt in the seat instead of getting up to touch him.
“I’d like that.” It was a code, and we both knew it. He wanted to spend another night sleeping in the same bed, but on purpose this time.
I felt warm inside in a way I never had before. It was like there’d been a spot somewhere inside me that was in the shadows, but now River was somehow inside that spot, bringing his warmth and light with him.
River left and Rey vanished to do kitten things. Lake and I made our drinks and went into the office to continue work.
Two hours later, my phone rang with the ringtone I’d given my mom.
“Mom?” I asked, because she knew better than to call me during work hours.
