“Ben,” she sobbed. “Your dad is in the hospital.”
I could tell immediately this wasn’t good. I straightened in my chair. “How bad?”
“They don’t know yet, but they’re wheeling him into surgery as we speak.”
“Heart?”
“Yes, I guess they missed something the first time.” She sobbed openly now. Even if she hadn’t known quite how to love me in the way that would’ve made things easier for me, I’d never doubted how much she loved my father and how much this would hurt her.
“I’ll come home right now. I’ll change my flight, and I’ll be there soon, okay? I promise, mom.”
“Okay. Thank you. I’ll send you the information on where to come.” Then, heartbreakingly, she whispered, “Hurry.”
I loved my parents, even though I didn’t feel particularly close to them, and this was…a lot.
“Your dad’s heart?” Lake asked, already alert.
“Yeah, he’s in surgery, I got to—”
“Of course, I’ll change your flight, go pack.”
“Okay, thank you, I’ll just…” I gestured, a bit spooked now that I needed to move.
I couldn’t get the image of my father in a hospital bed out of my mind. I tried not to feel scared, but he was the only dad I had.
Chapter 9
River
I was still floating on a cloud when I got to work. Sleeping next to, well, more like wrapped around Ben had been everything to me.
The fact that he hadn’t gotten upset over my clinginess even with obvious morning wood, gave me hope. Not that he’d change his mind about being asexual, no. I only wanted Ben as his authentic self. But it made things so much easier that this now proved that at least sometimes he’d be okay with contact like we’d had.
If I could have Ben—and that was still a question we hadn’t talked about which only made sense given the small amount of time we’d been reacquainted—I would take him in any way he would allow. Even if he couldn’t sleep next to me ever again, I’d still want him around. There was so much more to him than anything we could do together physically.
Sex was great and all, but it wasn’t something I craved. Never really had been after I’d gotten over the worst of my teenage hormones.
Escorting had been mostly fine and almost all of the sex had been on a scale between tolerable and actually fun. Some of it had been not-so-good, but I’d rather not think about those times.
What I craved the most was the feeling I got when I was cuddled next to Ben on the bed as we watched a movie. I felt safe, accepted, and at home in a way I’d never felt anywhere else. It felt stupid to even think about it, but I felt as if some magical puzzle piece I hadn’t known was missing from my life was finally there.
Of course, Ani noticed as soon as I walked in. They were sitting at the front desk, tapping away on the keyboard. The sound stopped as their eyes widened.
“River, you’reglowing!”
I ducked my head and chuckled. “I might be.”
“A good evening?” Dr. Cobb peeked out from the storage room.
I groaned. “Please don’t be too invested in this, okay?”
Dr. Cobb frowned, then came completely into the front hall. “Why not?”
“It’s…still fragile. I can’t explain it.”
“When you’re taking your break later, be prepared to elaborate.” Ani gave me the gesture where they pointed at their own eyes and then at me.
I laughed. “Fine. Okay.”
