I wasn’t sure I had it in me to fall in love with someone, but if I did fall for someone, I could only see it being River. He was the best person I’d ever met.
For a moment, I thought about getting up and going to my own room, but the lure of River’s warmth against me made me decide against it.
I closed the laptop and very carefully put it on the floor, jostling River as little as possible. Then I slid down on the bed as much as I could without disturbing him, and let him cuddle back to my side. His head on my chest was everything, and I was glad I’d changed into my pajama pants before.
I left the bedside table lamp on and closed my eyes. The room was comfortable and warm, and I was sure our body heat would keep each other comfortable.
* * * *
Disoriented, I tried to figure out what was going on when I woke up in a dark room. Well, mostly dark. There was some light coming in through the windows.
I blinked myself awake and realized I was still in River’s room. He was curled up behind me, pressed against my back with an arm around my waist.
His breath disturbed the back of my neck, and I smiled. This was a new experience, one I found I enjoyed, and I thought I needed to start keeping track of them.
He shifted a little, sighing as he cuddled even closer to me. I closed my eyes, contentment rolling over me in a wave.
He’d clearly woken up at some point, because we were on different sides now, and there was a blanket over us.
Suddenly, I felt him against my butt. He was hard, the line of his morning wood pressing against me. I froze.
My heart began to beat faster as my mind scrabbled around, trying to figure out what I was feeling.
It didn’t turn me on, which I wouldn’t have expected anyway, but I didn’t feel upset or repulsed, either. I knew it wasn’t because of me; it was a natural thing that happened to men sometimes.
What if it had been because of me? I frowned as I thought about it. What if I’d woken up from a nap, and River was hard because I’d been so close? What if he wanted more?
What would it entail? Would he rub against me like he was now? Would he use his hand like I did? Maybe he’d ask my help? Could I touch him like that?
Before I could be sure about my conclusions, River woke up with a jerk.
“W-wha—oh!” Then he realized how close he was and started to pull away.
I grabbed his arm and held him still, pulling him back. I made a point of letting my butt move back a little, showing him I wasn’t scared.
“Don’t go yet. Too comfy,” I mumbled.
To his credit, River didn’t ask if I was sure. Instead, he relaxed a little, then leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my neck.
“Morning,” he murmured, then squeezed me. “Any thoughts on the time?”
“Past seven, but I’m not sure. Your room gets different light from mine.”
He huffed with amusement, his breath tickling the back of my neck. “Thank you for staying last night.”
“Of course.” I let go of his arm and carefully rolled to face him. Then I lifted my arm again.
Smiling in a way that suggested he wasn’t quite believing what was happening, River moved forward until he was in my arms, awkward as the position was like that.
We stayed in the same position for a few minutes, then River sighed. “Okay, I got to use the bathroom and I guess my alarm will go off soon.”
“Yeah. You’re working today?” I asked as he pulled back to look at me.
“Yup, starting at nine.”
“Okay, I’ll see you downstairs in a bit?” On a whim, before he could roll off the bed, I caught his wrist. Then I leaned closer and pressed my lips against his.
River made a small sound, a whimper, as I leaned back. Then he looked at me with awe in his eyes that I’d never seen before.
