I grimaced when my feet hit the cold concrete, but I still continued to the free chair without looking at River.
“Morning,” he whispered finally.
“Morning,” I replied the same way. The misty morning seemed like the right time for quiet sounds.
I saw a mug clutched in his hands and thought that maybe he hadn’t even gone to bed yet. There was a clanking sound from somewhere toward the stable, and I realized it must’ve been Theo starting his day.
“Why are you up so early?” River peered at me.
“Mom called. My dad had some chest pains.”
His expression surprised me. It flitted through so many emotions that I couldn’t pick any up. Then he nodded and looked away.
“Did it seem bad?”
“No, she said it was just a precaution to go to the hospital.”
He nodded slowly. “I hope he’ll be okay soon and it’s nothing serious.” Something about his tone was off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
“Yeah.” We sat there in silence for a while. “You had an emergency at work?”
He nodded again. “Yeah.” He smiled slightly, but I got the impression it was one of those “it is what it is” type of smiles.
“Everything turned out well?”
“In the end, yeah. It was a bit rough at first.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he looked at me. “It was hard, though. With who the patient was and all.” He stopped talking and lifted his mug to his lips, as if he was buying time. He seemed to realize the mug was empty and lowered it again.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, because it seemed like the logical thing to ask.
He smiled more genuinely. “Thanks, but I can’t, really.” Again, I couldn’t read his expression. “But it’s confidential and I’m too tired to talk my way around it.”
It was the truth, but not the whole truth. How I knew that, I wasn’t sure.
“Okay. Well, if you ever want to talk about your work with someone, I’m here.” I smiled hesitantly. “I know you don’t want to stress Lake out with too much work talk.”
River frowned. “What do you mean?”
“That’s what Lake told me. He says he knows you don’t want to talk to him about work stuff because he gets upset easily.”
“Huh.” River pulled his blanket tighter around himself. “I guess I should’ve guessed he’d figure that out.”
“You’ve been best friends for a while now,” I murmured, thinking that they’d been best friends longer than River had been my best friend.
As if knowing where my mind went, River’s gaze softened. “You were my best friend first.”
“Were you and him ever…?”
“Oh, not at all. We’re not compatible in that way.” Then, seeing my expression, River chuckled. “I don’t mean physically, either.”
I blushed crimson. I knew what he meant, because that was where my mind had gone first, too.
“So, a chemistry thing?” I asked to move on fromthattopic.
“Yeah. We’re like brothers, me and him.”
“I never felt like you were my brother,” I blurted out, then frowned. I wasn’t sure what I’d meant with that comment.
River’s laugh was loud in the quiet morning. “No, I can’t say you never felt like a brother to me, either.” Getting serious again, he sighed. “Look, Ben. Back then, I didn’t have those feelings. It was more…abstract, you know? I knew I liked you and I wanted to be close to you, but I also knew you well enough to be able to tell you weren’t there yet.” He huffed quietly. “I just didn’t think that you wouldneverbe there, you know?”
