So instead, I chatted about the kittens with Rey and about the horses with Lake, and I felt this sort of camaraderie I hadn’t felt before outside of my roommates.
In the next few days, things continued like they’d been. For one, every time I crossed paths with River, we kind of froze for a second and then exchanged pleasantries like neighbors. It felt wrong, somehow, but I couldn’t explain it.
I guess he needed time to process what I’d told him. Technically I probably needed time to process what he’d told me, too, but I’d figured part of it out beforehand so maybe it wasn’t the same.
Mostly, our brief conversations were about “oh, did you hear the kittens broke out of their pen” or “how was work?” and maybe “did you like the cupcakes Rey made?” and that was it.
When I wasn’t thinking about the manuscript, I was thinking about River and how to fix whatever this was between us.
Then one night, I got stuck reading pretty late. I loved how quiet it was here. It felt peaceful. Which is why I frowned when I heard a car start in the lot in front of the house.
I got to my feet and peeked through the curtains. It was the truck River used for work. Huh.
Lake had told me River’s new job might sometimes require him to be on call even when he was off-duty. Something about a colleague having kids or some such, and River and his boss, Dr. Cobb, not wanting to get her to come help when River was free to go and lived closer, too.
I don’t know why it felt off. My instincts told me something else was going on, but I couldn’t think what it could be.
Then again it wasn’t my business, either. River seemed really happy with his job and only had good things to say about Dr. Cobb and everyone else who worked at the clinic.
I returned to bed and read for a while, then fell asleep before I heard River coming back.
* * * *
In the morning, I woke just before six when my phone rang. I reached for it and almost flung it to the floor when the charger cord I’d forgotten about jerked the phone back.
“Gah,” I gasped, then blurted out “Huh?” into the phone.
“Ben, honey,” my mother said in a tone I’d heard only once before. She’d woken me up early then, too. My grandma had passed away during the night when I was eighteen.
“Who’s dead?” I asked immediately, struggling to sit up with my sheets wrapped around my body.
“No, nobody’s dead.” Her words came quickly, but the tone was still off.
“What’s going on?”
“Your father, he had some chest pains and I forced him to go to the hospital.”
My own chest felt weird for a moment. “H-how bad is it?”
“Oh no, not that bad. The EMTs told us he could wait and go later but that they’d gladly take him just in case, so I told him to go. You know there’s heart disease on his side of the family.”
I swallowed hard. “Okay.” Taking in a deep breath, I tried to push the panic away. “So, you really think it’s no big deal?”
Her voice became more comforting and less distressing. “Oh, honey, it’s going to be okay. He’ll be fine. I just wanted you to know as soon as I could, because…” She trailed off.
“I know.” I had a thing about being kept out of things, and it was likely she’d felt upset and wanted to hear my voice. “Will you let me know whatever the results are?”
“Of course. I’ll call you as soon as I know something.”
I put the phone away and decided to get up. I had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to sleep more anyway.
Once I’d used the bathroom, I thought I might as well attempt to use the fancy coffee maker downstairs. I smiled as I padded down the stairs in my pajama pants and T-shirt. I remembered during one of our video calls, Ruth had excused herself for a bit to go make herself a drink and then she’d praised the machine that delivered her nectar in whatever form she needed it in.
Nobody was awake yet, or so I thought. The light in the kitchen was on, though, and I frowned a bit. I went to peer out the window by the front door and saw River’s truck had returned.
It took me a while to make my coffee, and when I walked toward the couches, I glanced out the back window and saw a form sitting on one of the sun chairs.
He was wrapped in a blanket, but I could see the shock of blond hair peeking over the top of it. Something about how small River looked in that moment made me go to the back door and slip out into the surprisingly chilly summer morning.
