I nodded, taking in what he was saying. “I think I understand what you’re saying. And I don’t—” I stopped myself, thought for a moment, then continued, “I mean, I haven’t felt like that at all with anyone.”
“There was never a celebrity you found attractive like that?”
“Oh, there were some, I guess. But I don’t think I wanted them physically?” It sounded like a question.
River hummed. “So, it was more like an aesthetic thing?”
“That, but also if someone was really funny in an interview. Or really smart? If someone appealed to me aesthetically—” I grinned a little, using his word “—and managed to surprise me by being different, better somehow than I’d thought.” I shrugged. “That’s the only way I can explain it.”
“But you still didn’t want in their pants.” He grinned. “I get it.”
I blushed again. “I’ve never…with anyone. I don’t think I have much of a…a sex drive.”
“Have you thought about it, all the physical aspects of it?” He looked curious, nothing invasive in his expression. Maybe that was why it was easy to get these thoughts out now after pondering them for a few nights.
“I guess I have? I mean, bodies do things.” I blushed again, hoping he understood what I meant. Even I had had those dreams as a teenager.
“I don’t mean that. But like as an adult? If you ever found someone you wanted a relationship with?” He lifted a hand. “I don’t mean I assume you would, butifyou did?”
The movement had made an edge of his blanket burrito fall, and I saw he was wearing his scrubs underneath it. “I don’t—” I sighed, hating how I could already feel anxiety raise its ugly head inside me. “I don’t think I can talk about this more right now.”
“Okay,” River said in a gentle tone and let the rest of his blanket slide off. He stood and grabbed it, then folded it over his arm. He stepped closer to me and reached out, cupping my jaw with his hand. “Just…there’s more to being close to someone you like than sex. So much more, okay? Keep that in mind.”
I couldn’t help leaning into the touch, but I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at River. “I will.”
He dropped his hand and stepped away. I opened my eyes then.
“I’m going to go get some sleep. Can you tell Lake not to wake me up? I’ll sleep in; Dr. Cobb called Krystal in for my actual shift.”
“Okay. Sweet dreams.”
“Thanks. I hope your dad will be fine.” His eyes flashed with something again, but he went inside before I could say anything.
I hoped he’d get some rest. And I really hoped I could do as he asked when my brain started to whir with these things again. Because it would. If only because my body suddenly remembered how safe it had always felt when River touched me.
Chapter 7
River
That night’s call had been the first. I’d almost fallen out of bed in an attempt to get to my feet while my brain still battled between making coherent sounds to Dr. Cobb whose name I’d seen on the screen and waking up.
Nurse mode, a colleague in New York had called it. It hit us when we were taking a nap and a patient came in, except this time I was fully asleep in my bed.
It took me twenty-five minutes to get out of bed and into the clinic’s driveway, mostly because the roads were empty at nobody-should-be-awake o’clock.
As I used the keypad in the front to get inside, I could hear murmuring from the back. Not many lights were on, but I supposed that was a good thing, given what we were doing here.
“It’s okay; it’s our nurse, River. He’s come to help me out,” Dr. Cobb said in a soothing tone.
I dropped my bag in the examination room and lifted my gaze.
There was a teenage boy hovering behind the examination table. Dr. Cobb stood to one side, as far from the table as he could. The patient was a tiny little girl, maybe six, if that. Her clothes were torn, she had road rash on her cheek, and she was cradling her arm.
The most startling thing was the fact that her large eyes were clear and dry.
“Hi, guys,” I said quietly. “I’m River; I’m a nurse and I’m here to assist Dr. Cobb.”
“He said,” the girl said in a stronger voice than I would’ve expected.
