How did he always know exactly what to say?
“I’m gonna go. I need to get the little ones before pickup at the elementary school.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I could hear how worried Koa was.
“Yeah. I’m fine, I promise.”
“Okay. If that changes, call me, Riot. I mean it. I don’t care if I’m at practice. I’ll keep my phone on me the whole time.”
“I will. I love you.”
There was a pause, then: “I love you too.”
I wasn’t sure if this was different than any other time we’d said that to each other. To me, it felt both exactly the same and wildly not. All that had happened between us the last few weeks had opened my eyes and awakened things that had always existed but I’d been unaware of. My love for Koa had always been strong and all-consuming, and maybe I was finally understanding exactly what that meant.
Chapter 19
Koa
Practice wasn’t easy.I could barely concentrate on running drills when all I could think about was getting home and getting my eyes and hands on Riot. If it wasn’t for the several text messages assuring me he was okay, I would’ve bailed immediately.
But it was playoff season, and we had a real chance at the championships. Part of me couldn’t be fucked about it, too worried about what was going on. But that wasn’t fair to the kids and the other coaches who were putting their all into it. I remembered these games, how important they’d felt. Back then, winning had felt like the biggest thing that would ever happen to us. There were a few players being scouted, so I had to get my head in the game, even if my mind was a million miles away.
Riot never called me at work unless it was an emergency, so when I’d seen his number come through earlier, I’d known it had to be bad.
By the time I made it through the door, the house was in its usual pre-bedtime chaos. The twins were running around the couch, chasing each other, both mostly dressed in their pajamas, their hair still wet from their showers. Cruz was sitting cross-legged on the couch with his tablet in his hand, blatantlyignoring his brothers. Riot and the little ones were nowhere to be seen, which meant he was probably getting them in bed.
“Hey, menaces,” I said, catching Bel just as he turned sharply around the corner and spinning him in my arms. “Causing trouble?”
Bel giggled as I put him on his feet. Cruz looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Aren’t they always?” He sounded like he was a full adult and not less than two years older than they were.
I ruffled his hair, and then Rue’s as I walked by. “Riot’s upstairs with the boys?”
“Yeah,” Rue told me. He was already jumping over the couch, trying to chase Bel again.
“Alright, roughhousing is over. Time to brush your teeth and get ready for bed.”
Rue sighed dramatically and threw himself on the couch. “Everyonealwayswants us to brush our teeth. It’s annoying.”
“You need to do it more,” Cruz told him. “I can smell your breath from across the room.”
Rue, instead of being offended, launched himself on his brother and breathed in his face.
“Eww, gross! Get off me!” Cruz shoved him off, but he was laughing, and so was Bel.
Something unfurled in my chest at seeing them playing. The boys could be goofballs, but they also read a room with more perception than kids their age should. Riot would try to hide it if he was still deeply struggling, but I thought the boys could at least sense if something were off. But they were acting normal. I took it as a good sign.
As badly as I wanted to find Riot, I took some time to deal with the kids, making sure pajamas were fully put on, teeth were brushed, and they were ready for sleep.
Riot quietly snuck out of the younger boys’ room as I was herding the older ones up the stairs.
He looked over their heads at me with tired eyes and a soft smile. “Hey, how was practice?”
“Long. I love this time of year, but I’ll be happy when it’s over.”
“Yeah, me too.” Riot looked down at the boys. “All ready for bed?”
They shrugged. “I guess,” Rue told him sullenly.
