“Thanks, I appreciate it, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Garrick may not want anything more to do with me.”
A part of me hopes for that outcome. It would be easier if he took the decision out of my hands. I hang my head in shame as the thought resurrects in my mind. I’m a horrible person for thinking it.
“I don’t think so, but I don’t know what’s going through his mind. When he’s better able to communicate, I’ll talk with him. I’m here for both of you,” he confirms, taking my hand. “I’ll do what I can to make this work.”
“Thank you so much, Hudson. For everything.”
“You’re my friend, Stevie, and I like Beck too.”
Thrusting my shoulders back, I draw a brave breath and level him with a look. “I’m ready to see him now.”
Hudson enters the room with me, holding my hand tight when he feels me trembling. It’s a miracle I can put one foot in front of the other.
The room is large and airy with a vaulted ceiling and gorgeous views over the gardens and the lake at the rear of the property. Behind us is a seated area with couches, a TV, and a fireplace. In front is the bedroom part of the room. Lighting is low as Hudson confirmed Garrick has been getting headaches. An unfamiliar nurse lifts her head and smiles from a desk in the top corner of the room. She’s seated behind it, quietly typing on a tablet because her patient is asleep.
A fluttery feeling swoops into my chest as knots form in my tummy. Hudson guides me to the bed as blood thrums in my ears and my heart begins racing. I drag my lower lip between my teeth and clutch Hudson’s arm tighter as I take my first look at Garrick in almost a year. It’s been nineteen days since he turned twenty-three, and it’s only twenty-seven days until the second anniversary of the accident.
Tears flood my eyes as I stop at his bed and drink him in. He’s thinner and paler than I remember him being in the hospital, but that’s probably just my faulty memory. While his hair is thicker, it’s not the messy chin-length hair he was sporting when we were dating. Nor is it the cropped look he wore while in the hospital. His hair is how I imagine Ivy wants him to wear it, slicked back at the front and tighter at the sides. I bet he hates it and can’t wait to grow it out again.
He looks so frail lying propped up on copious pillows on the elevated bed, and it brings it all back to me. A bunch of machines surrounds his bed, and he has tubes in both hands. It’s also a reminder of how precarious his situation is. Although the doctors are pleased with his progress, anything could go wrong. It’s still early days, and he’s not out of the woods. That thought sends shards of pain digging into my heart, and I reach for his hand, softly placing mine on top of his. Warm skin meets my palm, and his fingers twitch.
His eyes pop open, instantly gravitating toward me.
“Hey, man,” Hudson says in a quiet voice. “Look who came to see you.”
Garrick’s eyes instantly fill with tears as he stares at me, and there he is. The familiar amber flecks in his beautiful eyes ignite so many happy memories, and I can’t trap my emotions anymore. They strain for freedom, laboring against the walls I shoved them behind, until they break free, and I burst out crying. My anguished cries bounce off the walls of the quiet room as Garrick pushes the button on a fob curled around his other hand, and the bed elevates.
His fingers thread between mine as Hudson hugs me from behind, offering silent support.
“Stevie,” Garrick croaks in a hoarse voice. The bed stops moving when he’s more upright, sitting against the mountain of pillows. “Love…you.”
I cry harder, sniffling and almost choking on the strangled sounds emerging from my throat, before I force myself to get a grip. I’m upsetting him further. Garrick needs me, and I won’t let him down. I have to remain strong for him. He’s the one lying in a hospital bed. “I love you too,” I say over a sob, and it’s not a lie. There will always be love in my heart for this man.
He tries to lift his arms, but he can’t manage the effort involved. I know what he wants. Shucking out of Hudson’s embrace, I bend down and hug my ex. I’m extra careful not to suffocate him or squeeze him too hard, just lightly resting my upper half against his and slightly touching his cheek. His clean-shaven skin is unusual for Garrick, but I’m sure it’s something else he’ll rectify.
I close my eyes as I hug him. I can’t believe it. It feels surreal. For so long, I wished he would wake. I never imagined when he would that things would be so different between us.
A clinical smell emanates from his skin, but he smells like himself too. Garrick used citrusy shower gel and he always wore spicy cologne, but his skin naturally emitted a vanilla scent that always reminded me of him.
“Do you need anything, Garrick?” the nurse asks from the other side of the bed, and I ease back, kissing his cheek before I straighten up.
Garrick squeezes my hand with more strength than I would have thought him capable of.
“No.” He swallows heavily. “Just Stevie.” The words are thick and slightly garbled but clear enough to make out what he’s saying.
The nurse smiles at him and then me. “He hasn’t stopped asking for you.”
Hudson pulls a chair up behind me. “Rest your feet,” he says, helping me into the seat. Garrick doesn’t let go of my hand. “I’m going to sit down there,” Hudson says, pointing at the end of the room. “And give you two some privacy.” He kisses the top of my hair. “Holler if you need me.”
I look up at him. “Thanks, Hudson.”
“Hold it together, man,” he teases Garrick, leaning down to hug him.
My nerves jangle, as Hudson walks off and the nurse goes back to her corner, which is ridiculous. I used to be able to tell Garrick anything, but now it feels like we’re strangers.
“Hey.” A blush warms my cheeks as I softly smile at him.
“Beautiful,” he says, smiling at me through tears.
