“No,” I wail, clutching my stomach as the bartender talks on my phone. “No!”
She can’t be gone. I can’t lose her too. I won’t survive the crushing pain again.
ChapterSixty-Eight
Beck
“Thanks, man. I’ve got it from here,” I say to the bartender when I reach the bar and find Stevie sobbing in a booth and rocking back and forth with her arms clasped around her waist. “Does she owe anything?” I ask, removing my wallet.
He shakes his head. “It’s on the house.”
“Thanks.” I tip my head at him before sliding into the booth beside the love of my life. These past two weeks have been hell without Stevie, but I know she needs time to process her emotions. I was so fucking sad that first night, but I snapped out of it. I’m choosing to see it as a positive sign. Stevie acknowledged her feelings for me, and that’s huge. She told me she loved me in her text, and I know she wouldn’t lie to me. She has strong feelings for me, and they’re not going away, so I just need to be more patient. I know she’ll come back to me after she has properly grieved for Garrick.
This belief is the only way I’ve gotten out of bed every day because my world is so dull without her in it.
Stevie lifts her tearstained face to mine. “Beck?” she whispers as tears roll down her face.
“It’s me, Stevie. I’m here. Your mom called me. She was worried.”
“Nana’s gone,” she sobs, flinging her arms around my neck and clinging to me.
Pain infiltrates my heart, comingling with relief at having her back in my arms. “I’m so sorry, honey. I know how close you two were.”
“It’s like losing my mother,” she sobs, fisting my shirt and holding on to me like she’s worried I might leave. “I can’t believe it. She can’t be dead. She was so fit and young for her age. It doesn’t make sense.”
“I know.” I smooth a hand up and down her hair. “It’s unfair.” I dot kisses on top of her head. “So unfair.”
“I need to be with Mom.”
“I’ll drive you.”
“Beck.” She clutches my shirt tight and peers at me with blatant vulnerability. “Don’t leave me. Please.”
“I told you I’m going nowhere, and I meant it. I won’t leave your side unless you ask me to.”
Her shoulders relax a little, but pain remains etched on her face.
I help her out of the booth and slide my arm around her shoulders. Sympathetic faces watch us leave, and I hold Stevie closer when I feel her trembling alongside me. It’s not a far walk to my car, but she doesn’t speak as we head toward it. Stevie is wearing a dazed expression on her face, and no doubt her head is spinning. I was only ten when my mom died, and I remember how confused and upset I felt in those initial days.
Stevie is going to need me in the coming days, and I’m glad I’m my own boss now, and I can be here for her for however long she needs.
When we reach my A7, I open the passenger door and help my heartbroken girl inside. Then I climb behind my wheel and head out in busy traffic for Ravenna. I crank the heating up and put some classical music on as we drive. Reaching across the console, I take her hand, relieved when she curls her fingers in mine and accepts my comfort.
There are a bunch of cars parked at Nana’s house when we arrive, and Stevie starts shaking in earnest. Getting out, I race around the hood, open her door, and help her out. I bundle her in my arms, and she lets me hug her. “I’ve got you, okay?” I say a few minutes later, tucking a piece of her hair behind one ear. “Lean on me however you need to.”
Her eyes are red rimmed but dry as she looks up at me. Her palm cradles my cheek. “I love you.”
It seems wrong to feel happy when Betsy is gone and I’m grieving her loss, but I can’t help the euphoric surge that wells inside me at her words. I have waited so long to hear them. I brush my lips softly against hers. “I love you too, and I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”
Tears stab her eyes. “You are always so good to me.”
“It’s what you do for the person you love most in this world.”
“You’re my person, Beck.” She eases out of my embrace, swipes at the moisture under her eyes, and links her hand in mine. “Thank you for always being here for me.”
* * *
The funeral takes place three days later. The autopsy revealed Betsy was riddled with cancer, but it was her heart that gave out in the end. Nana hadn’t confided in anyone that her cancer had returned. Not Monica or Stevie or any of her friends. She had been ill with colds and bugs, but no one realized it was so serious.
