Stevie’s emotions are all over the place, veering from sadness to anger to guilt. She feels abandoned, and I can relate. Though I don’t remember a lot from when Mom died, because I was so young, I remember the sense of abandonment I felt. It’s unfair Stevie has to lose another person close to her, and it’s times like this when I question if there is a god.
Stevie is drained after the funeral, so we head back to my place. She’s been staying with me since I picked her up from the bar on Friday. Hadley brought over a bag with some of her things, and she stayed a couple nights too. If it was up to me, Stevie would permanently move in, but I can’t get too ahead of myself. Nana’s funeral doesn’t mean things are resolved between Stevie and me, and now isn’t the time to get into it. So, I’m being the friend she needs and supporting her the best way I can.
“Why don’t I run you a bath?” I suggest when we enter my apartment. “Then I can order takeout, or I’ll cook us something if you prefer?”
“A bath sounds nice, but I’m not sure I have much of an appetite,” she admits, shucking out of her coat.
I hang it up on a hook and set her purse down on the hall table. “Let me order some stuff, and you can see if anything tempts your taste buds.” I press a kiss to her cheek. “You need to take care of yourself.”
“I know. I’m just so tired of feeling like this lately.”
“You’re mourning, and you’ll come through it.”
Stevie leans her head on my chest and places her hands on my hips. “I’m not just mourning Nana.”
“I know.” She’s letting Garrick go too, so it’s a double hit. I close my eyes and savor the feel of her in my arms. It never gets old. “There is no rush. I’m going nowhere. You take all the time you need.”
Taking her hand, I lead her to my en suite. Stevie sits on the edge of the tub as I fill it. “I know what I want, Beck.” Stevie tucks her long wavy hair behind her ears. “I want a future with you. I have known that deep down for some time, and I’m not afraid to confirm it, but I’m so fucking scared. The people I love tend to get taken from me, and I can’t lose you too.”
Tears pool in her eyes, and I pull her down to the floor with me, positioning her on my lap. “That’s a risk we all take when we choose to share our lives with others. You’ve been dealt two hard blows in a row, so I understand why you feel like this. It’s why you need to continue speaking to Ramona and working through everything. There is no timeline. I love you, and I will wait for you for as long as you need. Do not rush this process on my account.”
She kisses me sweetly before pulling away. “You are the very best man I know, Beck. I feel so blessed to have met you.”
I lift her wrist, the one with the tattoo she got with Garrick and my charm bracelet, and I kiss her soft skin. “No woman has ever held my heart the way you do. I offer up thanks every day that you came into my life.”
After adding some oil to the water, I leave her with the bath filling to pour her a glass of wine.
When I return to the bathroom, I almost drop the wineglass as I enter through the open door and find her naked in the tub. Perfect porcelain skin coasts over exquisite womanly curves as she soaks in the oil-scented water, and abject longing crashes into me. Her long red hair cascades over the edge of the tub in a replica of the fantasy I’ve often had about her. My dick instantly thickens, and I adjust my hard-on through my dress pants to disguise the evidence of my arousal. Shielding my eyes, I cautiously approach the tub. “You should’ve closed the door, and I would have known to knock.” I hand her the wineglass.
“I’m not ashamed of my nudity.” The water sloshes as she sits upright against the back of the tub, and I get an up-close view of her magnificent tits. Her heavy breasts are full and perfectly shaped, and her unblemished creamy skin is topped with small pert pink nipples.
“Fuck.” I adjust my raging hard-on and look away before I’m tempted to drop to my knees and suck one of those taut pink buds into my mouth.
“I miss sex,” she blurts. “My fingers and my vibrator are no substitute for the real deal.”
“Stevie.” I groan, feeling a bead of precum leak in my boxers. “If you’re trying to torture me, you’re doing a good job.”
A smile crests over her lips as she leans against the side of the bath with her arms stretched over the edge, concealing her impressive rack, but now I’ve got a front row view of her toned back and shapely ass. She is really trying to kill me here. Stevie holds her wineglass in one hand while piercing me with a sultry look that causes my dick to throb behind my zipper.
Fuck my life.
“That is the last thing I would do. Maybe I want you to join me.” She licks her lips. “Maybe I want to feel your cock inside me.”
“Maybe?”
“Okay, there is no maybe about it. I want you to fuck me, Beck.”
I close my eyes briefly, hating myself for what I’m about to say. I sink to my knees and kiss her briefly. “As much as I’d love that, it’s not happening tonight.” I sweep my fingers across her face. “I want you so badly, but not like this, honey. You’ve just lost someone important to you, and you haven’t finished mourning Garrick. When we make love, I want it to be for the right reasons and for you to be guilt free. I need it to just be us in that moment and for you to be clear about what you want.”
“I am clear now. In a warped way, losing Nana”—her voice cracks and pain spreads across her face before she composes herself—"has helped me to confront my feelings. Life is too fucking short. I don’t need any more reminders of that, and I’m done feeling guilt and pain and remorse. You brought me back to life, Beck, and I want to start living life to the max. With you.”
She trails her fingers softly through my hair. “Garrick was my first love, and I will never forget him, but he’s no longer a part of my life. He hasn’t been for a long time. What we had is gone. You’re my here and now. You’re my future. I’m sure of it. I love you, and I know you love me, and I want us to properly be together as a couple. Nana told me to follow my heart, and my heart leads to you.”
Taking the glass from her, I set it down on the tile floor and hold her face in my hands. I look deep into her emerald eyes and see nothing but love shining back at me. I claim her lips in a passionate kiss full of pent-up longing. Water sloshes over the edge of the tub as we kiss, splashing my pants and the floor, but I couldn’t give a shit. My fingers twine in all that glorious red hair, and she’s attacking my mouth with the same ferocity I feel, her lust a mirror image of my own. I drink from her lush lips over and over again until it feels like my cock is about to explode.
“Beck,” she whimpers into my mouth. “I’m so horny.”
I stand and hold out my hand. Stevie rises and she looks like a goddess of fire and lust with all that lustrous red hair and water sluicing over her gorgeous tits, down along her flat stomach, over the curve of her hips, her tempting bare pussy, and dropping between her toned thighs.
