I reach her in a split-second, lifting her up and away from the broken glass. I place her back down on the ground even though my every instinct is to bundle her into my arms and love all her pain away. “Nat.”
She starts openly crying, and I don’t hesitate, reeling her into my arms and holding her close. Her head rests on my chest as her arms cling to my waist. I don’t offer words of comfort because I have none. I don’t know why she’s in pain because she won’t tell me. So, I do the only thing I can. I comfort her with my arms, hoping my touch is helping and not making things worse.
34
Natalia
“It’s so good to see you,” Frankie says, arriving fifteen minutes late to the restaurant. She is never on time, but with a capo husband and four kids under nine at home, she is incredibly busy. I’m lucky she still makes time for our monthly Sunday night meetups.
“You too.” I rise from my chair to hug my best friend. “You look beautiful.”
“I’m frazzled, and we both know it.” She slips her coat onto the back of her chair and sits down. I pour her a glass of white wine before setting it back in the cooler. “Thanks, I need this.” She gulps back a large mouthful, as I sip mine.
I indulged way too much yesterday, and I’m trying to take it easy tonight.
“Marco is teething like crazy, and I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks,” she explains. “I have been counting down to tonight all week. I love my kids, but I definitely need this time away from them.”
The waitress arrives, and we place our orders.
“Is Mrs. Caruso watching the twins?” she asks.
I nod, confirming our housekeeper is watching over my sons. “Much to their disgust. I got the whole ‘I’m fourteen and we’re made men’ bullshit routine from Caleb. Joshua was pleading for Bettina to come over. They must think I was born yesterday. I know if I left them alone the place would be like party central when I return. And the last thing I need is Joshua knocking his sweet girlfriend up on my watch.”
It’s tough being a parent to twin teenage boys, even more so because they have been initiated. I’m sure if Gino was here he’d criticize me for getting Mrs. Caruso over to babysit and he would pat his sons on the back for drinking and fucking. I’m trying to keep them kids for as long as I can because there are hard times with challenging responsibilities lying in wait for them. Is it so bad to want them to remain young and carefree for as long as possible?
“They’re having sex?” She almost chokes on her wine.
“Not that I know of, but the kids are all doing it so young these days.”
“But she’s from a good Italian family. Her parents would have drilled it in to her to protect her virtue.”
“Her father is asoldato, and she’s the youngest of six girls. While I’m sure they want her to remain a virgin until her wedding night, it’s not like she’s tied in the way I was.”
“Joshua is a good boy. He wouldn’t go there.”
I bark out a laugh. “Oh, Frankie. I can’t wait until your boys are teenagers. Then you’ll get it. And don’t you remember yourself? You were having sex with Archer when you were barely legal.”
“True. That seems like a lifetime ago now.”
“One husband and four kids later,” I tease.
A dreamy expression materializes on her face. “I’ve got it good.”
“You do.”
I try to keep the smile on my face, but it’s hard when I’m so fucking miserable.
“What’s going on with you?” She takes my hand in hers.
“Same ole, same ole. My husband is still in the Windy City, and he couldn’t care less about me. Every time I broach the subject of NYU, he says he has to go and hangs up on me. My life is in limbo, and it shows no signs of changing.”
“He’s being unfair. The deal was you could go back when the boys started high school, and they start in six weeks.”
“He won’t ever stop punishing me.” I take a large swig of my wine. “I brought this on myself.”
“Don’t you dare say that.” Her voice resonates with grit. “He’s a fucking asshole for the way he treats you. It’s been eleven years. Get the fuck over it already.”
Her words bring it back, and I squeeze my eyes shut in a feeble attempt to ward off the pain. It’s the same anytime I think of it. It will never get better. The pain will never truly go away. Yet I have learned to live with it for the boys and for my sanity. I was willing to work on my marriage, even if a part of me will always despise my husband, but we were doomed to fail the minute Leo knocked me up.
