“I owe you an apology,” I told him as I opened his bottle of water and handed it over. My stomach churned and I struggled to keep my conscience from berating me. Mistakes happened and I needed to remember that although I was a Dom, I was also human.
“For what, Sir? I’m the one who was late.” Jesse scooted to the edge of his seat, sitting ramrod straight. Whomever had trained him had done an amazing job with some aspects of his submission at least. It was a shame I’d never be the Dom to help him work through his impulsiveness and self-centered tendencies. “I really am sorry about that. I hope you believe me. I didn’t want to make a bad impression on you, but I guess I did anyway.”
I reached out to Jesse, sensing he needed a bit of physical comfort to soothe him. There wasn’t the slightest spark of attraction, which only solidified my belief that this was the right decision. Playing without sexual chemistry wasn’t typically an issue, but now that I had Danny on my brain, I needed something more out of life.
“I appreciate that, Jesse. Knowing where you’ve made a mistake so you can correct it is a valuable lesson to learn. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do a scene with you tonight.” His shoulders slumped forward, and his jaw went slack. I held up a hand, silencing him so I could finish. “This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.”
“That’s what they all say,” Jesse grumbled. He cupped a hand over his mouth when he realized he’d spoken out of turn. “I’m sorry, Sir. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“We’re not in a scene,” I reminded him. “You can speak freely. And please, call me Blake. I don’t think I’ve earned the right for you to call me Sir.”
“You’re wrong about that,” he argued. “You might not want me, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve respect. Some guys would have no problem playing with me because they know I’ll do whatever they ask. But you aren’t that type of guy.”
“No, I’m not,” I confirmed. “And it’s not a matter of there being anythingwrongwith you. I had reservations the first time you approached me, and I should have listened to those. I don’t play with new partners when my head isn’t clear. And right now, there’s too much taking up my energy for me to do right by you.”
The silence dragged on as I waited for Jesse to respond. This would go one of two ways. Either he would beg me to go against my gut and still do a scene with him, or he’d get pissed off at me for getting his hopes up. Both were justified reactions. I had led him on and that was something I needed to set to rights.
“I understand, Sir,” he finally responded, so quietly I barely heard him over the din of the music playing overhead. For the first time since he’d arrived, he looked directly into my eyes. “For what it’s worth, I respect you even more than I did before. If things clear up with whatever’s on your mind, I’d love to meet up and try again sometime.”
The polite answer, the one that would let him down easy, would be to say that sounded like a great idea, but I wasn’t going to lead him on anymore. He deserved better than that, and his response to being turned away after spending time making sure he looked his best for me, proved he was more mature than I’d given him credit for.
“We’ll have to see,” I hedged, hoping he understood it for the casual blow off that it was. And hell, for all I knew, Danny wouldn’t be interested in me. If that was the case, it might be nice to have an opportunity to see if Jesse was interested in playing. “You’re a great guy, Jesse. I don’t want you dwelling about what you could have done differently because the answer is nothing. You know what you want, and you don’t give up easily. Those are admirable traits.”
“Thank you, Sir.” His cheeks flushed and he took a sip of his water. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to see if there are any other available Dom’s. I was really looking forward to a release tonight.”
The downside of still being new to DeSires was I didn’t know everyone yet, otherwise I would have pointed him in the right direction. Luckily, John knew everything about every person who passed through the doors, and he owed me. “Wait here. I’m going to see if I can help you out.”
“You don’t have to do that,” he protested.
“Yeah, I do. It’s my fault you aren’t getting what you came here for, and I want to make sure you’re in good hands.” I knew what he was into because of our earlier conversations. He wasn’t into anything too extreme, which meant there was likely someone up for a scene. I cupped Jesse’s cheek, and he leaned into the touch. “You’re a sweet boy, Jesse. I’m sorry I can’t be what you want.”
“Me too, Sir,” he responded softly.
As I waved my way through the growing crowd, I couldn’t help but glance toward the bar. My stomach flipped when I noticed Danny scowling at me. It amused me, seeing his narrowed eyes and pursed lips. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was jealous.
I stayed back until John finished checking in the latest arrivals and directed them to their reserved rooms. I’d been skeptical when I first heard they were going to have a series of themed rooms customers could reserve for an hour or a night. It felt like the cheesy themed hotels I’d heard about when I was a kid. But like everything Jack did, the rooms were high class.
“What happened to your boy?” John asked as he kneeled down to sneak a bite of the food his boyfriend had brought to him.
“He’s not my boy,” I protested. “We were supposed to play tonight, that was it.”
“And, yet, here you are,” he pointed out. I flipped him off and he laughed. “Man, you used to have way more game than that. Did you even open your bag?”
“No, for your information.” I settled on my stool from earlier.
“He decide you were too much for him to take?” It wouldn’t have been the first time someone bailed at the last minute. I liked to play hard, and Iwasinto some stuff a lot of guys thought was a step too far. When they decided to listen to the rumors, rather than what we’d discussed doing in the scene, they bailed.
The upside of being new to the club was I didn’t have to deal with as much of that crap. Yes, I was creating a reputation for myself, but without the associated drama. I hoped to keep it that way.
“No, more like I couldn’t get into it,” I admitted. I knew I was opening myself up to a lifetime of ribbing, but I didn’t have to lie to John. He might be settling down now, but there was a time when he jumped from partner to partner depending on the night as well. Of course, he was just now realizing the fun that was playing with boys who like it intense.
“Does that have anything to do with a certain bartender you’ve been stalking?” John shoved me playfully, jerking his head toward the bar. “For what it’s worth, I’m pretty sure he’s stalking you just as hard.”
“No one’s stalking anyone,” I argued. There was no way I could check to see if John was pulling my leg without it being obvious I was checking out Danny.
“Interesting…”
“What?” Playing dumb with John was pointless. He made his living watching people. The safety of everyone in the club was in his hands; if he couldn’t read situations, shit could go sideways in a hurry.
