“It’s something I don’t really let myself think about too much anymore,” he continued, pinching his bottom lip as he stared out the window. “It sucks wanting things you can’t have.”
Somehow, I didn’t think he was only talking about someone to look after him. And dammit, I couldn’t stop myself.
“I know this isn’t ideal, but if you’d like, I could be that for you while I’m here,” I offered, hating that there was an expiration date on this thing. “Just to give you a taste.”
I counted the passing mile markers as I waited for Tanner's response. Deegan often liked to complain about how impulsive his brother was, but I didn't see it. If anything, Tanner was one of the most cautious, thoughtful people I knew. A lot of guys his age would have agreed to anything as long as it meant getting a dick filling them.
“But it would just be for the weekend, right?” He sniffled, and I realized we were both screwed.
Sadly, it could only be for a few days. For me, it didn’t matter how much time we were able to spend together; it would never be enough. We were going to spend the weekend telling ourselves that a few days would be enough, and then we’d have to clean up the wreckage later.
“I fly home the afternoon of the first,” I reminded him. I couldn't break my own heart and verbally agree to only having him for a little while. I’d done that in the past, and when I felt myself getting attached, it was this physical ache in my chest. With Tanner, I didn't need time to feel connected to him; he'd always had a special place in my heart.
“And you promise you won't make me do anything freaky when we’re in public? I am all for calling you Daddy and whatever else you want to do when we’re in private, but if you try ordering my food or cutting it up for me, people might start asking questions.”
I jerked the wheel to the right, catching the exit for a small rest area at the last second. I wasn’t ready to face people just yet. Once we pulled up in front of the resort, both of us would be busy with our duties for the wedding. I needed a little while longer to ground both of us, to tide us over until we could find a way to be alone.
5
Ryan
“What are you doing?Couldn't hold it a few more minutes?” Tanner teased as I pulled into a parking stall and turned off the car.
I turned in my seat to face him. “Are you serious about wanting to do this? Even though I’m leaving, are you willing to let me take care of you for a few days?”
He nodded, wringing his hands in his lap. I held my breath, giving him time to speak but he seemed unable to form words. He just looked at me with those huge eyes, framed with long lashes, blinking slowly.
“Tell me, Tanner,” I insisted. “Do you want me to show you what it’s like to have a Daddy?”
His eyes grew wide, his pupils blown. When he reached down to adjust himself, I swatted his hand away. His tongue peeked between his lips. If he were already mine, I’d have to punish him for teasing me.
“I'm waiting, Tanner,” I reminded him.
His chest rose and fell with ragged, shallow breaths. “Yes, please. I don't really know what I'm doing. You might have to teach me.”
I combed my fingers into the hair at the base of his neck, twisting and yanking him over the console. “There is nothing I like more than showing a beautiful boy how good life can be with a Daddy to take care of him. It's going to be tricky because both of us have obligations once we get to the resort, but maybe it'll be easier for you knowing that you can come to me when it all gets to be too much. Daddy's going to take good care of you.”
Tanner whimpered. He fumbled with the buckle on his seatbelt, finally freeing himself before trying to crawl over the console. I cradled the back of his head when he buried his face in the crook of my neck. His body shook, and I wasn’t sure if it was from nerves or emotions. I pressed my lips to his hair, closing my eyes and inhaling deeply. He giggled, which got me going.
“Come on, my silly boy. Let's take a walk and talk about a few things.” As much as it pained me to do, I pushed him back to his side of the car. He glared at me, his bottom lip sticking out adorably as I opened the door.
He seemed upset that I wouldn't let him kiss me, but I didn't want to be rushed. We’d kiss, but if he wanted me to be in charge, he would have to wait until I was ready to taste him. Or, at least, until I was ready toadmithow badly I wanted to memorize the flavor of him. I’d wanted it for years now, but he’d been my forbidden fruit.
I quickly got out of the car, shaking out my legs as I rounded to his door. I pulled it open and held out a hand to him. He immediately shivered as a blast of cold air hit him.
“You should have brought a coat with you,” I scolded him.
“I didn't think I was going to be spending any time outside,” he explained. “Ihatethe cold. Why couldn’t they have gotten married on a beach somewhere?”
“Because this is the wedding Haley wanted,” I reminded him. I booped the tip of his nose and he giggled again. “When you get married, you can do it wherever you choose, but Haley’s probably been planning this since she was a little girl. That means you should have planned better and packed appropriate clothing. You need to take care of yourself.”
“I thought that was your job,” he quipped. I couldn't bring myself to scold him for being sassy. The idea of caring for him made me feel alive in a way I hadn't felt in a long time. I quickly stripped out of my sweatshirt and handed it to him. He pulled it over his head, gathering the neckline and pulling it up to his nose, inhaling deeply. “It's warm and smells like you.”
As soon as he said the words, he pulled the sweatshirt up over his face. I pulled it down, laughing at his adorable blush. “You like being wrapped in something that smells like me?”
He nodded.
“Good. Because I like seeing you in my clothes. Now, let's walk.” I slid my hand into his, expecting him to follow my lead, but his feet seemed rooted to the ground.
