“That’s a lot to digest,” Theron said when I was done. I held back from a sarcastic retort because he was trying to help me. “If you ask me, it sounds like you need to talk to Mav and let him have a say in this. Even if you were with someone like Sammy, you need to remember they’re grown men. Yes, they regress and need to know you’ll take care of them, but he’s still your equal. If you respect him, you won’t make a decision that’s going to impact both of you.”
When he put it that way, I felt like an even bigger dick.
Mav didn’t need me to protect him. He was strong enough to move cross-country without a job lined up. He had no problem putting me in my place when I deserved it. I’d seen him go toe-to-toe with drunks at The Lodge for looking at him the wrong way or making comments about what they’d like to do to his pretty ass. That last bit had taken a few years off my life and resulted in one hell of a spanking when I got him home that night. There was no reason for him to do my job for me.
“But what if he’s all for me helping my brother and still wants to be with me?” Fuck. This was getting complicated. “Even if I can get my brother to accept our relationship, I’d really rather not go to prison for killing the first motherfucker dumb enough to talk shit about him.”
“I have faith in you.” Theron stood and squeezed my shoulder on his way past. I followed him into the kitchen, sitting across the island from him as he washed some fruit and cut it. “I’m starting to understand a bit more about you. You’re always worried about what could go wrong instead of letting things play out however they’re meant to. Maybe it’s time you start living, instead.”
Easier said than done, when I had done well for myself so far by anticipating everything that could go wrong.
15
Mav
I couldn’t shake the feeling that John was hiding something from me. He was still present, but he wasn’t really with me, if that makes any sense. Not gonna lie, I was eating up the attention he was giving me, but I would have gone without all the breakfasts in bed and stolen kisses in the back hall at work if it meant he’d just talk to me.
“Hey sweetheart,” he greeted me as he pushed open the bedroom door. I rubbed my eyes, pretending I hadn’t been up since he thought he managed to sneak out of bed at nine o’clock. That might not be early for most people, but we hadn’t even gotten home from work until almost four. “You ready to eat?”
Like every other morning recently, he sat down on the edge of the bed while I pushed myself upright. He set my coffee, fruit, and egg sandwich on the nightstand so he could fluff the pillows for me.
But that’s where the similarities ended. I was taken aback when he deviated from what had quickly become a routine that I never wanted to take for granted.
“Scoot forward,” he instructed me. I glanced up at him, my eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “I want to cuddle with you. Is that a crime?”
Lately, it is a bit.I wisely pressed my lips together and shook my head. He was so damn giving all the time, I didn’t want him to think I was needy for even more of his time and attention.
I bounced all over the place while he hopped onto the bed and tried to get comfortable behind me. He stretched his legs out on either side of mine and pulled me towards him until my back was pressed to his chest.
When he left one hand loosely around my waist, I slipped my hand in his. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder, trying to match my breathing to his. “I could get used to this.”
“You’re not the only one,” he admitted. We both tilted to the side when he reached for my coffee cup. Next came the plate. I didn’t want to let him go, and it turned out, I didn’t have to.
There was something to be said about spending the morning wrapped in Daddy’s arms while he fed me breakfast. This wasn’t like when Sam was little and needed Theron to take care of him; this was just John being his own version of a good Daddy.
And he was.
Even though he’d been off lately, the one thing I could count on was him anticipating my needs and taking care of me. Like now. Maybe it was coincidence, but the way this thumb brushed back and forth on my stomach while he fed me bites of fruit was one of the most innocent, intimate moments of my life.
Like I said, it wouldn’t take much to get addicted to mornings like this.
“I wanted to talk to you for a minute.”
My body stiffened at the announcement. It was far too close to the four most dreaded words in the English language. But I tried to put on a brave face, because, again, I didn’t want his first time with a man to sour him. And if I had anything to say about it, I wanted to be the last and only man he was ever with, and there would be no more women, either.
It was safe to say I was a total goner, which was why his recent behavior threw me for such a loop.
“Is everything okay?” I asked when I finally managed to swallow the sweet pineapple he’d fed me. I wasn’t sure it was going to go down because there was a huge lump in my throat.
“Everything’s perfect when I’m with you.” If I’d been standing, my knees would have gone wobbly at how sweet that statement was. “Unfortunately, both of us have been working so hard it feels like all we do is spend time in bed and go to work, only to do it all over the next day.”
“I mean, thereareworse ways to spend my days,” I mused.
“Same, but I don’t want that to be our life,” he admitted. Fuck. Again, with the swoony shit. Where in the hell did he pull these lines from? “I hope you won’t feel like I overstepped, but I talked to Jack and asked if it would be possible for us to have the night off.”
“You’re taking the night off?” I twisted around and gaped at him. “Younevertake days off.”
“True, but that’s more out of habit than because I’m a workaholic,” he explained as he combed his fingers through my hair. “For a long time, work was a way to escape shit I didn’t want to think about, but now I have a much more enticing way to spend my days. And nights, but that’s the other thing…”
