“What is?” When I pressed my hand to his chest, I could feel his heart beating furiously. It couldn’t be healthy for it to race like that.
“We’re not just about sex, are we?” He sounded so damn uncertain. “Sorry if I sound like an insecure dolt, but this is all so new for me. And, like I said, when we’re pretty much in whatever bed we happen to land in or at work, it’s hard to build a solid relationship.”
“Daddy, is this yourreally badway of asking me to go on a date with you?” I teased. It was cute to see him off his game. Now that he was holding me and had explained at least some of what was on his mind, I finally felt like I could breathe. “If it is, maybe you should stick to surprising me. You know I’m game for whatever you want to do.”
“Do you mean that?” His brow furrowed and he let out a deep sigh.
“Of course. Would it be nice to date like normal people? Sure. But that’s not who we are. We both have jobs that don’t leave us a lot of free time when there’s much to do,” I pointed out. “So, what were you thinking about doing with all this free time we’re going to have? Does it include goingsomewhere in particular?”
I placed plenty of dramatic emphasis on the last part of the question, hoping he’d pick up the hint I was laying down. Theonlything we hadn’t done that he’d talked about was heading back to the club.
Spending the night at the club where we worked wasn’t ideal, but it happened to be the only place in town where we could sate certain needs.
And I was a boy with needs. Strong, somewhat deviant, needs that only my Daddy could take care of. And even then, I knew we weren’t in a place where he’d be able to fulfill all of this particular fantasy, but if he was up for a little double duty, it could be the best night ever.
“Did my baby have something particular in mind?” he teased, chuckling when I wiggled around because of his tickling. Ihatedbeing tickled, but somehow it didn’t bother me so much when it was Daddy doing it.
I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth and nodded.
“Care to tell me what it is?” He hooked his hands under my armpits and pulled me up so that I was straddling his lap. My cheeks heated. Now that it was time to tell him about this particular fantasy, I wasn’t sure what to do. Ireallywanted to try it, but there was a chance he wasn’t as into the idea as he’d made it sound the day we set up all the rooms in the club. “Come on, sweetheart. You know it’s not nice to keep secrets from Daddy.”
A secret. That was exactly it. I might not be able to say the words out loud, but I could whisper them into his ear. I sat up on my knees and cupped my hands over my mouth. I knew I was being insane, but this made it easier to say the words.
Worst case scenario, he’d tell me it wasn’t something he would be willing to help me explore. I’d gone this long without it, no matter how much the porn clips I’d seen intrigued me, so it wasn’t a dealbreaker. And he’d made it clear from the start that we were going to work through this relationship together. So far, nothing had made him turn away from me, and I needed to hold onto that, even when my entire body shook with nervous energy.
I sucked in a deep, shuddering breath and let it out slowly as I closed my eyes and soaked up a few seconds of focusing on nothing but Daddy’s hands rubbing gently up and down my back.
“I’ve got you, sweetheart. Whatever it is, you can tell me,” he promised, pressing tender kisses to my shoulder. “And you’d make Daddyveryhappy if you don’t leave out any details. You’ve been so good to me. I want to help you live out your fantasies, too.”
Somehow, I managed to get the words out past the lump in my throat.
And he didn’t say anything. His hands slid to my butt and he cupped my ass, holding me tight against him. That had to be a good thing, right?
“Say something,” I pleaded when the silence dragged on through the longest minute of my life. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.”
“It’s not that, baby,” he assured me. I felt the warmth of his breath on my skin, the steady thrum of blood in his neck, the way his fingers flexed, digging deeper into my flesh. “That was a big deal for you to admit, wasn’t it?”
I nodded, unable to speak. I wrapped my arms tight around his neck, grateful that he understood my struggle to admit something to him that I’d never said to another person, ever.
“Then I think you deserve a reward.” He lifted me off his lap and deposited me on the bed. I’d never get over the way he manhandled me, placing me wherever he wanted me.
That made me think of another fantasy, but we’d take things one at a time.
“Who are you?” he asked as he got off the bed.
“Daddy’s sweetheart,” I told him. This was a familiar part of our routine. He loved picking out my clothes for the day, laying them on the end of the bed while I showered. As it turned out, he had a good eye for fashion for a manly man.
He offered me a smile that made me feel like I’d won the lottery. Lately, I hadn’t called him Daddy as much because I was scared I was getting in too deep while he was pulling away. But this morning, I’d felt a shift. We were solid, even if there was something he wasn’t ready to talk about. He wasn’t going anywhere, and I didn’t want to belong to anyone but him.
“Well then, you finish eating, and I’m going to go get my good boy a present.”
My smile disappeared and I felt cold. I didn’t want a present if it meant he was going to leave me. I wanted to turn back time a few minutes, so we’d be cuddling in the bed together.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I just have to run downstairs,” he reassured me. “Eat the rest of your breakfast so you’ll be ready for your reward. If you want to do this, I’m going to need to make a few calls. Do you think you can play with Sammy while I get everything ready?”
“Yes, Daddy.” I wasn’t little like him, but it was still fun to play sometimes. It was strange, but it almost felt like a weight lifted off my chest when I sat down at the activity table with him or we curled up to watch a movie in the ginormous bean bag Theron had bought for him after he saw how much everyone at the club liked piling into it.
True to my word, every bite of food was cleared from my plate the second Daddy left the room. That was stupid because my stomach hurt, but that might have at least partly been the nerves. I picked at the edge of the comforter as I waited for him to come back. He hadn’t told me what he wanted me to do next, and it felt like I needed to wait for his next instructions.
